


Paradigm Shift

by Kiintsugi



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, I Wrote This For Me, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, but ya'll can read it if you want
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2020-12-09 08:00:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 40,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20991521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiintsugi/pseuds/Kiintsugi
Summary: “Let me get this straight,” Lena began, her voice sharp. “You want me, a Luthor, to take a mentally and emotionally traumatized Kryptonian toddler from another Earth and make him my ward.”orThe AU in which Lena takes in a Kryptonian ward bc I wanted it to happen.





	1. Chapter 1

“When everyone knows you’re a monster, you needn’t waste time doing every monstrous thing.”  
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

* * *

Growing up, Lena wanted nothing more than to be like her brother Lex. He was everything a child could be: resourceful, intelligent, respectful, creative, bold, charming, selfless; the list was endless. Every day someone came up with a new way to praise her brother, and every day Lex would remind them that Lena was extraordinary too. Of course, that only made people love him all the more and it wasn’t until Lena grew older that she realized that that had been Lex’s plan all along.

She walked in his shadow from the day she became a Luthor, and now, it felt as if she could never crawl out from under it.

“Your reputation proceeds you, Mr. Fox,” Lena drawled as she tapped her pen atop a stack of papers. “Or should I call you Midas?”

Wayne Enterprises’ very on Lucius Fox sat across the long, glossy table. A shrewd and cunning businessman who turned anything he got his hands on to profit, Lucius Fox had been a thorn in her side for months now. He was a mild-mannered man; professionally the pinnacle of modesty despite his reputation and the very reason why Lena felt particularly related to her brother this day.

“Ms. Luthor, please.” Lucius smiled. “You know as well as anyone that I am simply doing my job.”

Lex always hated Bruce Wayne, the billionaire playboy whose company consistently had higher earnings, better press, and more advanced technology. Of course, the success of Wayne Enterprises was largely due in part to the position held Lucius rather than Mr. Wayne himself. Until now, Lena never quite understood why it was Lucus was held in such high regard by the Wayne Enterprises’ board or why Lex always dreaded interacting with the man. However, after months of painstakingly difficult delegations, Lena couldn’t help but feel a grinding distaste for the man who hired Lucius.

“In the past, dealings between Wayne Enterprises and Luthorcorp were traditionally held between you and my brother’s Liaison, Talia Head,” Lena said as she reviews her notes. “Traditionally these dealings either fell completely through or ended up, in my opinion, poorly negotiated on our side.” Lena set down her pen and placed her elbows on the table, resting her chin atop entwined fingers. “However, in the spirit of transparency, I would like to state that moving forward you will be negotiating with me from here on in to avoid any more ill-advised contracts.”

Lena plucked a folder from her stack and slid it across the table. “You’ll find that I’ve enclosed the data projections gathered from my own team, as well as several addendums to the contract based not only on the revision of information found but upon the fact that you attempted coheres me into a less profitable agreement for your own gain as well.”

Across the table, Lucius’ smiled. “I must admit, you are quite remarkable,” he said. “CEO of one of the largest conglomerates in the world at twenty-three and by twenty-four, you’ve turned every negative projection you faced regarding the future of Luthorcorp into a monstrous success and still, I managed to miscalculate your dedication to success.”

“L-Corp,” she corrected.

“My apologies,” he offered.

Lena dug her heel into the floor under the table and swallowed back her boiling anger. “For referring to my company as Luthorcorp? Or for the fact that you tried to exploit me under the assumed pretense that I was both inexperienced and burdened by my brother’s guilt?”

Still smiling, Lucius kept his eyes locked onto Lena for a moment longer before diverting his attention to the folder she had presented him. He flipped through the folder, noting the pages with an array of sticky note page markers that Lena knew was part some sort of organizational code, but even with her knowledge of the document and its layout, she couldn't quite figure out what each colored tab may have eluded to.

He studied her revised contract for several minutes, a thick silence weighing on her shoulders as she waited in anticipation for his response. She bit down on her cheeks, watching with keen eyes as he closed the folder and adjusted the glasses that had slipped down the bridge of his nose.

“Unfortunately, there is too much here for me to decide on today,” he said, checking his watch. “I will have a team verify your findings and upon further review, I will present your proposal to board back in Gotham. Perhaps we can convene in a months' time to finalize our negotiations?”

Lucius rose from his seat and Lena followed his lead. She skirted across the table, meeting him as he neared the doors so that she could open them for her guest. “Thirty days,” she agreed, offering one hand as the other held the conference room door.

“Until next time, then,” he said, squeezing her hand with his own. “Good day, Ms. Luthor.”

“Mr. Fox.” She bid, ending the shake and turning her back as he left.

Once alone, Lena gave a frustrated huff and meandered back across the conference room. She drew her fingers along the paperwork, scanning the documents with lithe eyes as she replayed the events of their meeting in her mind.

She had spent the better part of her time as CEO with her head down and her nose in her work with little regard or concern for social engagements that did not result in profitable gain. Part of her chalked up her workaholic tendencies the Luthor blood that ran through her veins. Part of thought, maybe it was her own obsessive need to control everything in her grasp down to the last detail. Either way, the work had paid off and the sacrifice to her personal life was only a small price to pay in exchange for the fortune and esteem that accompanied her success.

Notwithstanding the evidence of her toil, Lena did have something of a personal life. Or, more accurately, she used to. Her social circle had been small; brought about by a work engagement that led her to an established group of friends that treated one another as family and toted on about honesty and trust. Lena had thought it was strange at first; a group of people who were honest and depended on one another without pangs of guilt, favors owed, or additional clause. She thought it impossible. But something inside her wanted to believe them. She needed to believe them.

How foolish she had been.

In the end, she knew, she was better off keeping to herself and focusing on her work.

“Miss Luthor.”

Lena turned at the sound of her name when her assistant’s voice crackled through the speaker of the conference room phone. "James Olsen is on the line. He has concerns about the budget for the third quarter."

Lena grimaced at the mention of James. If she was foolish to think she could have friends, she was injudicious and asinine for allowing herself to believe she deserved to be loved. Her own narrow-minded idiocy led to the acquisition of Catco, and her whimsical dreams of a reality that didn't exist that convinced her the purchase was profitable – strictly business – when all truly was an attempt to win the hearts of her friends and maybe even... fall in love. And now, CatCo was her punishment for thinking a Luthor could be anything more than a shark.

_Show them who you really are, Lena._ Lex’s voice. Or maybe, her mother's. _Show them what it means to be a Luthor._

Lena rolled her eyes and answered the phone. "This is Lena.”

“ Lena, hey." James’ voice was soft like it used to be. As if lies were never exposed and lines were never crossed. "I know it's late, but I'm going over the dossier for the third quarter and–"

"The budget is non-negotiable."

James sighed into the speaker. "Okay, but you've slashed the budget for reporting and news by forty percent from last year. Can you at least explain why?"

"Over two-thirds of Americans acquire their news via social media," Lena said. "The newspaper is a dying medium, James, and I do have a business to run. News and magazines are down; tabloids and online radio consumption are up. I had to make accommodations."

“You’re replacing news with clickbait?” He asked, his voice teetering on anger. “Radio sits in a studio all day and talks in opinion about the headlines written by our reporters. Kara won a Pulitzer. If anything, you should be giving them a bigger budget, not radio.”

“And one more thing.” Lena turned on her heels and looked out the window while ignoring James' concerns with a deft precision that rivaled that of her brother. “Eighty-seven percent of our articles written on alien affairs are written by human reporters. Moving forward I expect fifty percent of all alien affairs to be covered by our actual employed aliens. Unbiased or not, your tendency to pass all alien related reporting to human employees doesn't look good in this post Agent Liberty political climate.”

“What about my employees who don't want their status as galactic refugees on this planet to be public knowledge?”

“A fair point,” she noted. “If you're overlooking the fact that the Agents of Liberty released records of all working aliens in the city as well as their employers. The public knows exactly who works for you and the fact that you're not giving them a chance to report on their own issues is a media scandal that we cannot afford right now. “

“How am I supposed to do that without funding to reporting?”

“As I said, the budget is non-negotiable. If news can't operate up to par on the current funds, then I suggest you find other ways to allocate my money.”

“So, fire people, you mean.”

“Whatever it takes, James. And if you're not up to the task, I'll bring in someone who is.” She didn’t give him an opportunity to respond, ending the call with the press of a button and returning her attention to her drifting thoughts.

When Lena had taken over Luthorcorp, their stocks were at an all-time low, their quarterly earnings so dismal that major news outlets considered the number to be a mistake. But there was no mistake, and Lena knew that signing on as CEO was walking into an active minefield in No Man’s Land. Still, Lena was a Luthor, and if anyone could walk through the disaster left behind by her brother unscathed, it was someone who knew exactly how his thought process worked. She knew the purpose of every research project, every investment. She could see and understand every move Lex made – both as a successful businessman and a man driven mad with jealousy.

She cut the useless excursions used to exploit the company for personal gain and reallocated their funds to projects that actually stood a chance at profitability. She made a point to donate every penny she could scrape together to rebuilding and humanitarian efforts that countered the harm her brother had caused and had even begun taking steps into green alternatives to some of their most economically harmful exports and properties. She diversified staff, overhauled the training programs and began overlooking the research department personally. She took a pay cut, proved that she was willing to live and die in her office and after two years of hard work, Lena finally stood atop a pillar of own success.

No one; not her brother, not Cadmus, nor Guardian, or Supergirl would get in the way of that.

There was still too much that needed to be done. There would always be another deal to strike, another crisis to avoid. Lena had no time to look to the sky – to dream about fictitious nonsense like a happy life with friends and a family who loved her. She had a company to run, her eyes should look forward, not skyward.

With a resigned sigh, Lena turned her back on the window and made her way out of the conference room. She had spent the better part of the afternoon locked into useless negotiations with Wayne Enterprises on a joint foray divulging into the production and affordable distribution of geothermal energy.

Unfortunately, making sure the energy stayed within their ideal price point meant that the profit margin was too small to be split between the two conglomerates comfortably. She hadn’t expected a resolution to be made today, but she also didn’t expect negotiations to fall as flat as they had either. She had the home-field advantage; she should have made more headway. Instead, she left the meeting with her demands made and Wayne Enterprises laughing at her audacity.

Realizing the time, Lena threw an apathetic glance at her watch before forcing herself not to turn into her office and reluctantly heading to the elevator instead when her phone rang.

“Alex,” she answered. “Is everything alright?”

* * *

Whenever Alex was angry, she rubbed slow circles with her index and middle finger against her temples. She had been doing it a lot these past few weeks, and non-stop for the past twenty minutes.

“You’re mad,” Kara said, watching her sister pace across the DEO. She was fully dressed in her battle gear; a gun on each thigh, knives on her calves, her hair slicked back. The sort of gear that made even Kara feel like she might get her ass kicked at any moment.

“No.” Alex pointed an accusing finger in the air. “I’m not mad.”

“She’s totally mad,” Barry whispered in a semi-sing-song voice.

Alex swiveled on her feet, pointing her finger at Barry. “At you?” She began, nodding fervently as she stormed past Brainy and over to Barry. “Oh yeah.”

“What did I do?” Barry threw his hands up like a white flag, backing into the computers as Alex closed in on him.

Kara might have snickered at the exchange if the circumstances were different. She always found it slightly humorous when the fastest man alive — fully clad in his super suit — would stumble and cower over the pressure of a human. But Alex was fuming, and Barry did show up out of the blue at the worst possible time with a request that was right in line with everything Kara had been avoiding.

“You brought that.” Alex’s hang flung itself to the left, pointing down the hall that led to the alien holding cells.

Again, Barry leaned over to Kara looking for support. “I thought you said your sister loved kids.”

“She does,” Kara blurted in her sister’s defense. “But this is uh...” she tilted her head, mulling over her word choice. “Really unexpected, Flash.”

Barry smiled his best apology smile, shifting uncomfortably underneath Alex’s dominating pressure. “Yeah. I know. I just...” He moved to scratch his head, gloved fingers tapping awkwardly against his cowl before shifting back down to his sides in subtle panic. “You’re the only people I know equipped to... you know...deal with this sort of thing.”

“I _can’t_ deal with this right now, Flash,” Alex said.

Kara could tell her sister was doing everything in her power not to explode in the presence of her subordinates and considered them lucky to not be able to hear the way her heartbeat was attempting to tear itself out of her body in a fit of adrenaline.

“I’m sorry. There’s too much at stake right now.”

“Alex,” Kara tried, but when her sister raised her gaze to meet her, she didn’t know what to say.

Kara bit her lip and threw her eyes at the floor. She had never noticed how dirty it was before. Tracked mud from field operations and impromptu missions that never got cleaned. Especially over the past few weeks. Undoing the damage created by the Humans First agenda was proving to be a significantly more demanding job than any of them had anticipated and with Clark still on Argo, she was pulled rather thin on Super duties. It only made sense that the DEO would be behind on janitorial duties. They were behind with everything. They all were.

“It’s fine,” Her sister said, calming herself down. “I got through to Lena. She should be here any minute. We’ll come up with a plan once she’s here.”

“You talked to Lena?”

“One of us has to,” Alex chastised. “Who would you rather get involved with this? Lena or United States Government, because that’s who I'll have to report this too if we don’t get this sorted.”

Kara swallowed. “Lena,” She said, agreeing reluctantly.

“Director Danvers.”

Kara nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of Lena’s voice.

“It’s been a while since you’ve asked for my help. What’s going on and,” she gave Barry an uninterested once over, “Who are you?”

It had been too long since Kara had seen her. She almost forgot what it felt like to be in the same room as the businesswoman; the way her aura filled the space like water in a glass. How she never let a hair fall out of place or let her lipstick fade a single shade. She had also forgotten about Lena’s recent gravitation towards well-tailored, three-piece suits. A change that drastically altered the force of her presence in comparison to the pencil skirts and blouses she had favored when she first moved to National City.

Kara’s sister was strong, respected, scary even when she wanted to be. But the truth of it was, Alex couldn’t hold a candle to Lena.

“Lena, Flash. Flash, Lena,” Alex said, filing through the introductions as fast as she could. “He’s from an alternate universe—”

“We call it Earth One,” Barry interjected.

Alex opened her mouth but waited a moment to make sure Barry was done interrupting her before continuing. “Anyway. He’s brought us something and since it’s from another universe, we need your help handling it.”

Lena, always the professional, didn’t so much as flinch. “Okay,” she said. “What is it and why did you bring it here?”

Alex took a breath; her demeanor finally calm again. “A Kryptonian.”

Lena sucked in a breath, her hand touching her collarbone as she forced herself not to laugh. “You’re kidding.”

“As far as we can tell, Kryptonians don’t exist on Earth One. At least, none that we could find,” Barry said, folding his arms over his chest. “And trust me. We looked.”

“You have a Kryptonian right here. I don’t see how this has to have anything to do with me.”

“From this universe,” Barry said. “This isn’t the first alternate Earth I’ve been to. Things are different. More than just personal history and which job you took or didn’t take. I know someone who’s blood type is PZ Negative. We don’t have that where I’m from.”

“And you’re the only person we trust to dive into Kryptonian physiology,” Alex said. “I would, but, let’s face it. With your brother’s research and your personal experience synthesizing artificial kryptonite, you’re much more equipped to tackle this than I am.”

Lena looked the group over, her brow furrowed as much with disbelief as it was frustration. “I still don’t understand why you need me for this.”

“In a technical sense, it’s pretty simple,” Alex began. “Supergirl’s powers developed within days of arriving on Earth but, as you’re probably aware, Superman’s didn’t. They developed slowly throughout puberty until he fully realized his potential in his mid-twenties. That leaves us a really large window of opportunity for potential destruction and accidental causalities, and that’s operating under the assumption that his body will adjust to Earth on this universe the same way the others have. With your help, we might be able to help avoid any potentially threatening developments. But, in an ethical sense...”

Brainy ran a hand through the air is if scrolling on an invisible screen and the central monitors flashed awake. Across them was an enlarged camera feed of one of their holding cells; a small chrome-colored room with a clear, hopefully indestructible, glass-like wall on one side. The room was no more than five feet by five feet, was furnished with little more than a bench, and had a single light fixture set into the center of the ceiling. Lena had seen them dozens of times, but she had never seen anything like this.

In the far corner of the cell, curled into a tight little ball under the bench, was a boy. His eyes were closed, his hands clasped over-ears with fingers tangled into corkscrew curly hair, rocking back and forth in an attempt to soothe himself. He was wearing a silver-blue outfit with a high collar and matching slip-on shoes that were scuffed with dirt and stained by tears; his sleeves wrinkled and wet.

“I would approximate him at the human equivalent of three years of age,” Brainy said, completely unaffected by the image on the security feed. “Based on the aptitude of fine motor skills displayed since his arrival, a more accurate approximation would be 3.2 years.”

“You have a toddler locked up in your alien prison.”

In the four years Kara had known Lena Luthor, never in her life had she sounded as appalled as she did at this moment.

“No,” Alex said, her voice raising at least half an octave. “Not locked up. It’s just the smallest space we could find to keep him in.”

Brainy raised a finger on his hand to note his intentions of contributing to the conversation. “I recommended that we place the boy in a closet.”

“We’re not locking a child in a closet, Agent Dox,” Alex commanded. Her hands were slowly making their way back up towards her temples. Before long, she was pacing again, although it was a much smaller length of space and instead of rubbing her headache away, she was chewing on the nail of her thumb while shifting her gaze from the security feed to Kara.

Kara gave Alex a waning sympathetic look and turned her attention to Lena again, who was handling reveal no better than Kara expected. Her mouth hung open; arms folded over her chest as she took them all in with complete disbelief and something Kara thought looked an awful lot like disgust. It was the very look Kara had been most afraid of; the look she knew Lena would give her when she found out the truth about her double life.

After everything that happened, Kara knew more than ever that she had to come clean. But the fear of rejection, the selfish desire to keep Lena at her side no matter the cost, always defeated her in the end. She was Kara Danvers, the honest, reputable reporter. She was Supergirl, a beacon of trust and light; and yet... she couldn’t even open up to her best friend. She should be ashamed of herself – she was ashamed of herself. Disgusted, even. But she couldn’t do it.

She also, coincidently, couldn’t be around Lena either. Being around Lena made her feel gross; like dishonesty and deceit were oozing from her pores. She was thankful, at least, that Lena seemed buried under the stress of work. Their once frequent meetups dwindled to occasional and soon after completely nonexistent. Voicemails went unreturned, texts left on read. If the very idea of being in Lena’s company didn’t make her want to crawl out of her own skin, she’d have been concerned. But now, looking at the expression on Lena’s face, Kara wondered if she should have been worried all along.

Thankfully, Barry was worse with awkward silences than she was, and he pounced at the opportunity to fill the space with an explanation for their otherwise questionable actions. “He’s afraid of open spaces,” he said. “We found him in a shipping container. Looked like he’d been kept there for a long time.”

“He’s agoraphobic,” Lena realized.

“All the more reason why we need your help,” Kara said.

Alex flipped off the feed, the image clearly getting to her, a fact of which Kara was grateful. When Barry first showed up with a child in tears, everyone’s first instinct was to soothe the boy, make him laugh, hold him close and tell him that everything was going to be alright. But the DEO was too big, the windows too daunting. The holding cell was the only place they could find that got his heart rate to drop and even though it wasn’t by much, it was all they could do.

“We need the boy to pass as human,” Alex explained. “If we can assure that he’s not going to cause harm to himself or anyone around him by being here, then he deserves a chance at a normal life. You’re the only one with the experience and the means to give him that chance.”

Kara twisted her fingers together and took a tentative step towards Lena. “As much as I’d love to be around another Kryptonian, it’s too dangerous to be associated with me right now. Or even as an alien at all. And he can’t stay here without being discovered by Alex’s superior officers and turned over to the President.”

The memories of Red Daughter were still fresh. No one needed to remind Lena of what a government trained Super would do to the state of the world.

Lena shifted her weight, taking a moment to consider her options. “Let me get this straight,” she began, her voice sharp. “You want me, a Luthor, to take a mentally and emotionally traumatized Kryptonian toddler from another Earth and make him my ward. In doing so, protecting him from the government’s experiments but subjecting him to a potentially equally traumatizing series of tests in order to find out if being an alternate universe alien is different from just any other off-world species we’ve encountered thus far.”

“Well it doesn't sound that good when you put it that way, but,” Barry said, nodding. “Yeah.”

“Not permanently,” Alex said, quick to quell the idea they were saddling Lena with a permanent familial addition. “Just until it’s safe and we can find a family who can keep it that way.”

“Why not you?”

The question was rightfully placed. Alex had been trying to adopt for so long that the dream felt impossible to achieve sometimes. Now, here she is, sister of a Kryptonian with a toddler in need of a family, passing him off (hopefully) to Lena. She was certain that Alex had prepared herself for it by the way she sucked in a breath, the way her spine straightened. Still, Kara knew Alex better than anyone, and the question — warranted or not —hurt.

“He needs more than I can give him. At least right now.”

Lena nodded, accepting the answer. They had all been buried in the aftermath of the Earth First movement and Lex’s attempt to capitalize on it. Alex, unsurprisingly, most of all. Bring the director of the government organization tasked with all alien affairs meant all the work on the government side fell to her shoulders: complete with red tape and endless stacks of paperwork. She couldn’t even take on a human child right now. It wasn’t fair to the kid.

That lack of fairness was the same reason Kara couldn’t either. Clark was still on Argo. The entire planet was just one tug at the strings away from collapse and if that happened, no question, aliens would be blamed. It would have been easier for all of them if Barry had just kept the boy on his Earth. But Barry...she knew more than any of them why he brought the boy here.

“So, what do you think?” Alex asked, her voice hopeful. “Will you help us?”

* * *

“Does the boy have a name?” Lena asked as they approached the cell designated to the Kryptonian child.

A few months ago she would never have assumed her friends were capable of putting a child in a cage, no matter the circumstances. But she also would have believed that her friends were honest and worthy of trust. Now, here they were, walking to a child kept in a cage. She didn’t know if she should be shocked or angry.

“Val of the House of Zod,” she heard Kara say in her best Supergirl voice behind her. Even now she was trying to play her for a fool. High and righteous, better than thou, Kara Zor-El.

Lena rolled her eyes. “House Zod… That’s different.”

“On my Krypton, House Zod was a military family,” Supergirl explained. “But something tells me that isn’t the case where he’s from.”

Lena was about to question why it was Kara had come to such a conclusion when she found herself at the end of the hall, facing the very boy she had come to see. He was still curled under the bench in the exact position she had seen on the security feed, still soothing himself with the same repetitive patterns, tears staining his face.

“Can you dim the lights?” she asked, tapping a capped syringe of sedative against her thigh.

“Yeah,” Alex said, stepping away from her and Supergirl. “Hang on.”

With Alex gone to fill her request, the Flash off to whatever reality he came from, and Agent Dox working on other cases, that left Kara as the only person still with her in the DEO holding wing. Lena glanced at the suited-up hero and steeled her jaw. She wasn’t here to confront Kara. She wasn’t ready for that yet. She was here because of a boy that no one seemed to understand how to calm down. That, Lena could do.

Though it ought to be considered that by no definition would Lena consider herself good with children. Other than once being a child herself, her only real experience with kids was of the semi self-efficient variety. The kind that could be easily ignored so long as they were provided with a television and money for pizza, both of which Lena could easily provide. Small children, however, were a different case. They required routine, stability, empathy; figureheads in their world who would shape the very people they would someday become. Lena wasn’t fit for a role like that.

But what else could she do? As much as she hated to admit it, the Danvers sisters were right. Neither of them were equipped to deal with the circumstances surrounding the boy, but she couldn’t stand idly by and let the government get their hands on him either. But why her? What could she have possibly done to give off the impression that she could be trusted with a child – a Kryptonian child! After everything that happened between Lex and Superman, her mother and Supergirl, her and Kara...

_I am not my brother,_ she reminded herself. _I am not my mother. I am not a villain_.

“What if this doesn’t work?” Supergirl asked. “What do we do then.”

Lena looked down at the sedative. “It’ll work.” After a moment, the lights dimmed and Lena turned to Kara. “Open the door.”

There was a pressurized hiss that led to the transparent doors untangling themselves, and the cell popped ajar. With the door open, Lena chanced a glance at Kara. She was chewing on her bottom lip, the worry of Kara Danvers painted all over her face.

_How could I have been so blind?_

Lena turned away, putting her focus back on the boy and removed her shoes. She didn’t know what it felt like fear open spaces themselves. But she did know what it felt like to feel the weight of the unknown pressing on your shoulders and the panic that rules over a body in fear. Setting her shoes next to the door, Lena slid the syringe into her pocket and toe walked into the cell, now flushed with only the barest hints of light, and curled down on herself. She twisted her body, sliming herself down before the boy they called Val opened his eyes; curious blues against inhumanly perfect, umber skin, hunting in the dark.

“Val,” Lena called out, her voice scarcely more than a whisper.

Val rubbed at his face with the back of his hand and sniffled.

Still crouching, Lena pulled herself closer. “My name is Lena,” She said, offering her hand. “I want to help you.” She knew that wasn’t the ideal way to speak to a toddler, but she was blindly operating under the assumption that he understood her at all. Picking her words to be more palatable to a child’s level of comprehension didn’t matter if the child in question didn't even understand the language itself.

With questioning caution, Val crawled out from under the bench. He still kept his distance, one hand gripping the smooth metal that jutted out from the wall, the other coiled into a fist by his chest.

She had hoped that dimming the lights simulated an environment the child was used to. If this Flash person was telling the truth and Val-Zod had, in fact, spent a prolonged period of time in a shipping container, the darkness could potentially prove itself just as soothing as confined rooms. Based on his reaction thus far, her hypothesis had merit.

“It’s alright,” she said, inching closer.

Val didn’t move any closer, but he also didn’t shy. He kept his eyes locked on to Lena, watching as she scooted closer still, facing each inch that depleted between them with as much courage as he could muster until Lena’s open palm was all that stood between them.

He reached out and touched the pads of her fingertips before pulling his hand away.

Lena smiled, encouraging the boy and he reached out again.

He did; touching her fingers, then her palm, and before Lena could comprehend what was happening, he bound into her. He buried himself into her chest, his hands clinging to his forearms around her neck as he smeared his snotty, tear-stained face into her suit.

Lena sucked in a chilling breath around her teeth and shoved away the urge to shudder and gag at the thought of mucus on her clothing. She wrapped her arms around the boy, pulling him closer and whispering calming words into his ear and she ran her fingers through his knotted, curly hair.

She looked over to the transparent wall. She could see Kara’s outline on the other side. Faint lines and shadowed colors painting a shadowed form looming over her. Watching her.

Lena shifted, turning her shoulders towards Supergirl to mask as much of herself from the supers view as possible and she cradled the boy closer. Then, under the veil of the dark, Lena snaked one arm around the boy’s back and twisted the face of her watch. The face split apart, revealing a small shard of stone that Lena slipped between her finger. She fished out the sedative and pried the cap away between her teeth.

“Shh,” she breathed, running her fingers through the boy's hair and she drew her way down to his arm. Pressing the stone against his skin with her fingers, Lena slid the needle under the stone and into his skin and released the sedative into his bloodstream.

Val drifted to sleep, his tight little grip softening around Lena’s neck. She shifted the boy in her arms, setting the needle aside and slipping the stone back into the pocket on her watch in the process. She sat there for a moment, holding the boy against her in the dark and staring at the prick against his skin.

The lights came back on and Lena squinted against the sudden brightness assaulting her eyes. She adjusted to the change after a moment, catching sight of Alex jogging back down the hall.

“You’re incredible,” Alex said extending her arms to take Val. “I don’t know what we’d do without you.”

Lena pushed herself to her feet and moved to dust herself off before remember that her clothes were wet and sticky with child. Not sure what else to do, Lena shoved her hands in her pocket and threw a shrewd glare at Kara.

“I’ll have my lawyers draw up a contract,” she announced. “But it’s not permanent. I have no intention of raising a Kryptonian.”


	2. Chapter 2

In 2014, Lois Lane wrote a series of articles that exposed a pattern of abuse by a Gynecologist in Metropolis that not only won her national recognition and honors for her investigation but also aided in the conviction of said Gynecologist by a unanimous vote. It was a pinnacle moment for the fourth estate; a series of reports by an investigative journalist in the era of superheroes and supervillains that – for once – didn’t have anything to do with vigilantes or flying gods. 

Kara was so proud when she won the Pulitzer later that year. Almost as proud as Clark. 

In the years following, Kara had wanted nothing more in life than to make a difference the same way she had. Sure, she had powers and connections to the Man of Steel, but she didn’t want that to be her legacy. Not Kara Danvers’ legacy, at least. But by the time Kara’s reporting career began, her double life as Supergirl had already taken off. She didn’t become like Lois Lane; she became like Clark Kent. Again. 

The vast majority of Kara’s reporting career was built upon her connection to Supergirl and her pledge to factual, non-biased journalism in an age of ‘fake news’ and government and media ‘corruption’. Her reports on the deeds of Supergirl were consistently front-page news, but Kara always felt like it was a cheap shot; an easy cop-out for a job she hardly gave the attention it deserved. But then she was given an opportunity; a chance to report on something that Supergirl had yet to emboss herself upon. She was given the opportunity to expose Lex Luthor. 

Kara Danvers, a reporter at CatCo Worldwide Media and friend of L-Corp CEO Lena Luthor. She was the only person on Earth with the resources, and the connections, to chase down that story and when she did, Kara was finally recognized with a Pulitzer of her own. 

At first, her success was celebrated. James not only gave her a raise, but he often used her as an example of what CatCo’s dedication to honest reporting was capable of, that they didn’t need clickbait articles or political commentators or ad loaded videos that took two minutes of news and stretched it into fifteen. Nia had arranged an office party with all her favorite foods and even invited J’onn, Alex, and Brainy to the festivities. She even got a call from Cat Grant herself to congratulate her and extend praise, only partially taking credit for putting Kara on the path to success. 

But every time someone mentioned Kara’s success, she felt a pang of stabbing guilt in her chest. Her Pulitzer was a physical representation of her work as an honest reporter, but Kara wasn’t honest at all. How could she be when she had been lying to her best friend for over four years? She could hardly bring herself to look at her award, let alone listen to people talk about it. Maybe that was why when James broke the news mandatory three-day work weeks, Kara felt relieved. 

“I’ve already posted the new shift schedules in the breakroom and at the end of the week we’ll be doing an official shift bid for those slots,” James explained. “Bidding will go by seniority and accolades. So, the longer you’ve been here and the more recognized your work is, the better chance you have at getting the shift you want. Does anyone have any questions?” 

James, like all of the news and reporting department, was unafraid to express his disappointment with the budget. He was plagued by heavy bags under his eyes and a disheveled attire that when combined with the large mug of coffee that sat on his desk, made it clear he had pulled an all-nighter to try and come up with a solution to their ‘no money’ problem. 

Kara felt bad for James. He didn’t come to National City to run Catco, and he definitely didn’t take the job expecting to have to deal with mass layoffs. The across the board shift cut was the logical solution to a short-term budgetary issue, but no one knew how long these cuts would last. More than that, most people couldn’t afford to live on twenty-hour work weeks. What was worse, Kara could hear every murmur and disgruntled comment about James, as well as every frustrated remark regarding Lena Luthor’s poor management skills, despite how hard she tried not to. 

“Why do we have to get punished because James slept with the boss?” someone to her left whispered. 

“Why won’t he just can the interns and the newbies?” whispered another. 

“This place is going to shit. I’m transferring to Daily Star.” 

Kara raised her hand. “If funds have reallocated to other departments, wouldn’t it be easier to keep everyone on a full-time payroll if we transferred people to corresponding departments?” 

“We’re working on that,” James said. But just because a budget increased, doesn’t mean it’s approved for more staffing so, in the meantime, this is all I've got.” 

Kara blew out a breath and pursed her lips for the remainder of the meeting, trying her damn hardest not to listen in on every snark or encumbered complaint shared whispered among employees. James was doing everything he could think of to ensure that everyone who wanted to work for CatCo could maintain employment and Lena... well, Kara didn’t really know what Lena was thinking, but the woman was genius. She had to have her reasons. Whatever they were, Kara hoped she made them clear sooner rather than later. After all, the entire reason Lena bought CatCo was to keep the integrity of their reporting intact as a way to bolster her own reputation for transparency. Taking away their funding now seemed... counterproductive, for lack of a better term. 

Lena used to come around CatCo a handful of times a month, usually to make her presence known and build a reputation as an involved and approachable CEO. Lately, however, she hardly even set foot in the building. The last definitive time Kara could think of was for the party Nia had orchestrated in which she made a brief appearance and a polished speech about Catco’s dedicated pursuit of truth and integrity that glued itself to Kara’s award and made it impossible for her look at it without feeling like a traitor. 

The only other time Kara had seen Lena was at the DEO and Supergirl couldn’t ask about Lena’s business. As much as Kara wanted to tell Lena the truth, Lena didn’t trust Supergirl so there was no way she could ask Lena what was going on with CatCo that incentivized her to make such restricting decisions. Even if she tried, Kara didn’t think she could handle being on the receiving end of that look of hers again; the way Lena look as if Supergirl’s gift were a direct attack against her person. 

With the meeting adjourned, Kara held back to ask James, “How do I tell Lena I’m Supergirl?” 

James’ eyebrows lifted. “We’ve gone over this, Kara,” he said, wrinkles forming on his brow. “I don’t think you can at this point. At least, not with the results you’re hoping for. Lena, above all else, values mutual trust. And unless you can convince her that keeping her in the dark has nothing to do with a lack of trust—” 

“It doesn’t,” Kara defended. “Not anymore.” 

“But it did, Kara. And Lena knows that.” 

Kara sighed dramatically. “I know,” she admitted. “I messed up. And now I’m making it worse.” 

There were more times than Kara could count where she had an opportunity to tell Lena the truth and made the decision not to. She was supposed to be brave and honest; the person able to believe in the best in humanity by representing the best of humanity. Why was it that Kara could risk her life time and time again – against Reign, Daxam, her aunt, literal Nazis from another Earth – but she couldn’t face the fear of rejection from Lena? 

“I know Supergirl and Lena don’t always see eye to eye,” James said. “But I think her decision to trust you when Red Daughter was out there pretending to be Supergirl says a lot. She might react better than you think.” 

“And she might react worse,” Kara countered. “it’s not _ just _ me who’s lying. As soon as I tell her I’m Supergirl she’s going to realize that everyone else has been lying just to help _ me _lie.” 

James leaned against his desk and tilted his chin to the ceiling. “I don’t know what to tell you,” he breathed, his forehead crinkled with worry. “But if you’re looking for the perfect opportunity, you might not find it. I think your best bet will be proving to her that Supergirl trusts her as much as Kara does, but unless you pull her into some DEO mission that requires her help...” 

Kara swelled with delight. “That’s it!” 

James blinked; his eyes wide with confusion. “What’s ‘it’?” 

“Yesterday Lena agreed to help the DEO through temporary guardianship of a three-year-old Kryptonian,” Kara explained. “What better way is there to prove to Lena that Supergirl trusts her than that?” 

James blinked again. “I’m sorry. Lena did what?” 

* * *

Lena always considered herself a woman of financial modesty. 

She grew up in a mansion and – not just any mansion – a cloaked, notoriously off the grid mansion. Not many children had the luxury to say they lived in an invisible house with over a dozen bathrooms. There was a slew of housekeeping staff; gardeners, chefs, nannies, cleaning crew, personal assistants, hired friends, tutors on retainer of every profession. If it could be purchased, her father owned it, and if her father couldn’t acquire it in his lifetime, Lex made a point to acquire it in his. 

Lena approached things differently. Her penthouse was a cabin by comparison. She didn’t purchase things because she could, she didn’t flaunt her wealth and status by the consumption of stolen histories and appropriated artworks to hang on her walls. She didn’t gallivant around in a different outfit at every outing (even when tabloids insisted that her decision to wear the same jacket on three separate occasions was a crime against humanity). She never associated with those of wealth and status outside of work obligations, avoided unnecessary drama and feuds that would inevitably boost her reputation, lived alone with only a single personal assistant on retainer and had a cleaning crew come by her home no more than once a week. 

There was a line she had to walk as Luthor. Wealth, status, and notoriety were part of the long game. She couldn’t give up everything and live like the everyday blue-collar employee, but she didn’t have to boast about privilege and position either. And for the entirety of Lena’s adult life, she truly believed she walked that line well. 

But, efforts aside, Lena knew now that she had no idea what ‘financial modesty’ meant. 

She lived on the top floor of a building she owned with a security reinforced, personal elevator. Her home had floor to ceiling windows, a beautiful balcony overlooking the best view in the city, a well-stocked wet bar, and a wine room. Each of her three bedrooms had a bathroom, with a fourth for guests; her entire house was loaded to the brim with the newest and most powerful technology, complete with an experimental propriety AI system running through the entire building that was programmed to respond only to her voice. 

She was a powerful, single woman with no intentions of that changing any time soon, and her home reflected the very core of who she was as a person: both as a Luthor and as someone desperate to be different. 

When she was first brought into the Luthor home, everything had already been provided for her. She had a fully furnished room, a fresh new wardrobe, an army of personal tutors...a brother waiting to meet her. It may have felt sudden and out of Lena’s control to her, but the fact of the matter was, Lionel and Lillian Luthor had prepared for her arrival and readied themselves (in whatever capacity the super-rich could) for the challenges that came with raising a child. 

Val-Zod wasn’t given the same thought or courtesy. He was given an overly expensive, panic-inducing home that was as receptive to his needs as Kara was to honesty. 

Lena had a limited amount of time to move the boy without putting him in a situation that would result in extreme levels of distress, so she settled on placing him in her guest room with the blinds drawn and the door shut. He slept through the night and most of the next morning and just as Lena was mulling over the idea of lengthening the duration of is sedated state, she heard the distinct thump of a body falling to the floor, a pained wail, and shortly thereafter, a slammed door. When Lena went to inspect the strange behavior, she found that Val had retreated into her guest room closet. 

Lena thought to tell herself to be concerned, but that would have been a lie. 

She castigated Lilian for her subpar parenting for years; never afraid to point out the scars left by a woman without maternal instinct. It was the very reason Lena herself never wanted anything to do with children of her own. No one with the Luthor name was fit to raise a child; and now, with her brother dead, it pleased her to know the Luthor line would die with her. 

They were monsters – all of them. And yet... 

For months now, there was a thought that plagued her mind; a memory she couldn’t shake. 

In the years leading to her brother’s inevitable downfall, Lex had spearheaded his anti-Superman campaign on a singular question: “When the Man of Steel turns against them, who if not a Luthor, had a plan for that?” 

If Lex, the pinnacle of human excellence – a man who, through sheer force of will mastered his intelligence, his body, and the world – was a monster, then what did that make humanity in the presence of a Kryptonian? 

What was Lena when there was Supergirl? 

Tanking in Val was an opportunity seized by Lena’s own selfish desires: her obsessive need to prove her value, to prove she was better than the Luthor name made her out to be. But there was something deeper, something clinically Luthor. A ruthlessness born from rejection that cut so deep it pained her to admit that maybe she was the most monstrous of them all. 

Lena looked down at the glass of scotch in her hands. What would her brother think of her now, drowning her emotions in her father’s prized whiskey and ten-dollar takeout? 

“Pathetic,” she said, emulating her brother to a T before relishing the burn of fine scotch against her throat. She poured herself another. “Selfish. Weak. Crippled by the need for validation. Stunted by failure. Obsessed with the unchangeable.” Lena gripped the glass tighter between her fingers, vision blurring. She drank again, drowning the voices in her mind the way she always did and poured another. 

She glowered at her food, unable to fathom what compelled her to order cheap Chinese of all things. It was like a reflex she had developed from the years with Kara and her obsession with potstickers. Lena used to find it endearing, watching Kara’s face shine with unmatched delight over something so simple and cheap. Lena had always offered to fly them Singapore so she could try _ real _ potstickers, but Kara always insisted that there was no reason. The best in the world were, “Right here in National City.” 

Lena clicked her tongue against her teeth. She had spent enough time wallowing over her loss of friends; the failures of her own short-sightedness. The last thing she needed to do now was dig herself deeper into her pit of self-pity. She told herself she was better. She deserved better. That Lena Luthor was better than her mother, more successful than Lex, more trustworthy than Kara Danvers. She was better than all of them and she was under no obligation to prove it again. 

Still, what sort of person finds solace is a child’s hiding? 

She set down her chopsticks, stabbing at her lo mein with more pent-up aggression than she would like to admit and swallowed back her scotch in a single gulp. If she couldn’t take care of a child, what did that say about her? At the very least it meant she was worse than her mother, and Lena couldn’t have that. 

Lena looked at her food; congealed, sticky and far from friendly (for both the dexterity of a child and her floors), Lena settled on a massive container of untouched crab rangoons that she only ordered to bump up her charge to the minimum requirement for delivery, grabbed a bottle of water from her fridge, and marched herself up to her guest room. 

Her guest room was a corner room in which two walls featured large panels of bullet-resistant glass and was furnished with a plush queen-sized mattress, television, nightstand, recliner and a reading lamp. The room also had a small in-wall bookshelf that featured a selection of scientific journals and academic text and a plush bedroom bench at the foot of the bed. It was in no way fit for a child and Lena intended for it to be that way when she furnished it. Her entire home was designed with “no children” as the central theme. Thankfully, Lena had no use for this room, and she hadn’t commandeered the closet for her personal wardrobe the way her mother used to fill closets with out of season coats. 

She rapped her knuckles against the door of the closet before cracking it open. Inside she could see Val sitting on his feet, starry blue eyes staring wide and curious at Lena as she situated herself on the floor. She moved slowly, watching the way he reacted to her as she opened the paper takeout box, her eyes scanning his as she unfolded each corner and plucked one of the crisp, filled dumplings between her thumb and index finger. 

Lena split the dumpling in half and slid her hand through the door, offering half to Val. 

He followed her lead tentatively, pinching the two corners with his thumb and index finger just as Lena had and pulled the two ends apart. A glob of the cheese and crab mixture spilled out and onto the floor between them, Lena inhaling a sharp breath as it splattered against the floor that caused Val looked at the ground and then back to her. 

She knew he was looking for an appropriate response; some sort of reasoning to her reaction, but all Lena could think to say was, “Mess.” 

She sighed when he didn’t show any signs of understanding and decided instead to refocus her efforts on making sure Val didn’t starve to death under her supervision. She guided him again, biting into the dumpling and watching as Val brought the food to his face, smelled it, and followed suit. 

He made an audibly pleased sound, chewing with an open mouth while stuffing the next corner in at the same time. He still had a mouth full of food when he reached through the crack in the door, hands like a greedy raccoon, and swiped what was left of the half she hadn’t herself eater. 

She was about to offer him another when her security system chimed throughout the house, AI announcing the ping with a cheery, “You have visitors, Miss Luthor.” 

Lena leaned back on her heel, pushing herself to her feet as she looked through the open door towards the main room of her home. She put the security system in place to warn her of when her family felt the need to make surprise “visits” but not for much else. She didn’t have guests, not even when she and Kara were close. Turning back to the closet, Lena watched as little fingers reached out to the paper box and dragged it unceremoniously through the doorway. 

“At least you’re eating,” she said, accepting her out and made her way out of the guest room and across the penthouse. “Display elevator cameras on screen three.” 

A monitor in her living room flashed awake with a live feed of the group of people assembled in her elevator. Alex, Kara, and damn near the entirety of their super brigade. Nia was bouncing on her toes next to an ever stoic and endlessly confused Brainy. Kelly and Alex were so close that even with the 8K resolution of her security equipment they looked as if they might be fusing together. Hank had his arms crossed over his chest and a bright pink and green stuffed snake wrapped around his neck like a scarf that Kara was wiggling against his cheek, clearly imitating snake noises to try and force a smile out of him. Notably, James was missing, but she didn’t find that surprising or noteworthy given the status of their professional and personal relationships. 

“I hope you don’t mind,” Alex’s voice called. “But we thought you could use some help.” 

Nia raised a white paper bag to the camera and smiled. “Kid proofing is a team effort. Also, Brainy figured out his size so, we brought clothes too.” 

As if on cue, Brainy and Kelly both held up an arm in which they each held a bag of clothes. 

Lena pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed inwardly as she faced the crossroad laid before her. She had never bothered to remove Kara and her friends from their allotted clearance levels in her buildings. They had always been free to come and go as they wish and, seeing as Lena had simply been avoiding her problems rather than flat out confronting them, removing their access had never been a top priority. It meant confronting things, confronting Kara, before she was ready. 

Sometimes it felt as though she would never find her footing in the rocky terrain ahead. Other times, it felt as if Kara were dangling from a cliff and all Lena needed to do was pry her fingers loose and let her go. The tides changed fast and hard and until Lena could make the accusations with confidence – with complete control over the situation – things were better left as they were. 

The elevator doors opened, and before Lena could reset her demeanor to meet her guests, they were flooding into her home and rambling and chattering atop one another in an excited flurry. Hank and Nia beelined to her kitchen island and began unpacking plastic dishware while pointing to her cabinets in what Lena could only assume was the two of them discussing where to put them. Kelly had swiped a bag from Brainy and set two heaping paper bags of clothing at the end of her chase in the living room. Kara had a bag full toys, Alex a pile of books, and Brainy was holding a package of outlet covers while spinning in a slow circle as he took in her home for the first time. 

“What is all of this?” 

Alex started stacking her pile of books on the coffee table and smiled at Lena. “Well, I realized we sort of sprang a lot on you all at once, so we all chipped in to help out.” 

Lena folded her arms over her chest and leaned onto one hip. “I appreciate the concern, but I’m more than capable of sending my assistant to run errands on my behalf.” 

“You hadn’t yet, though, right?” Alex asked, her eyebrows arching with concern. 

Lena shrugged. 

“Great,” Alex said, taking Lena’s silence as the answer she wanted to hear. “None of us have the means to legally take in a kid without raising suspicion like you do, but that doesn’t mean we’re letting you do this alone.” 

Kara was being surprisingly quiet throughout the exchange, picking through the stack of books and flipping through the pages instead of joining in the conversation. She adjusted her glasses on her face as she flipped through the pages of a board book called “Our Rainbow,” a decidedly queer book among a selection of feminist and activist-oriented children’s books that Alex had probably selected from a list of books to buy for her own kids one day. 

Lena rolled her eyes and turned her attention to Brainy, who was now inspecting the equipment of her propriety her smart system while drying plastic dishware that Nia placed into his towel-clad hands. 

As much as she wanted to refuse their help and, as much as she didn’t need them to chip into towards anything, Lena was at a complete loss as to where to start. She didn’t have a maternal bone in her body, that instinct to care or nurture that so many of the people around her seemed to have. She ordered herself takeout and didn’t even think of food for the boy in her closet until she was three drinks deep and pissed at the idea of being too much like her own mother. 

And yet, these people who lie to her face every single day – who don’t deserve Lena’s generosity or trust – are here with everything she had failed to think about. 

“Thank you,” Lena told them, swallowing her pride. 

“So, where is this Val-Zod, anyway?” Hank asked, voice projecting across the open floor. 

Lena raised a shoulder. “In my guest room closet,” she said. “Probably halfway through a container of Chinese food and making a mess out of my floor.” 

Nia practically sprinted into her guest room at the mention of Val’s location, shouting something about being “first” as she charged up the stairs. Meanwhile, Alex’s mouth had fallen open. 

“Lena,” she groaned. “The closet?” 

Kara squeezed her sister’s shoulder. “I’m sure Lena has a perfectly reasonable explanation,” she said, turning to Lena with bright eyes and a smile. “Right?” 

“He went in there on his own accord,” Lena offered. “I was in the process of coaxing him out when you arrived; rather unannounced, I might add.” 

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Kara said. “We thought about calling first, but you’ve been so busy lately.” 

Lena dipped her chin. “I supposed that’s fair,” she said. 

“But,” Kara chirped. “To make it up for you we brought some really cool gifts! Val’s going to love them.” 

“Oh,” Alex remembered, waving over Kelly and passing a gift to Lena. “And this one is a gift from Supergirl. A thank you for helping us out.” 

Lena glowered at the gift as she took it in her hands. The bag was small, silver in color with white tissue paper that had little blue stars and moons printed on one side, and surprisingly lightweight. There was a card attached to the bag with Kara’s handwriting scribbled across it that read, “Something to help Val-Zod feel at home. – Supergirl”. 

“Open it,” Kara encouraged. 

Fighting the urge to roll her eyes, Lena obliged. What she found inside was a shirt made from a material Lena had never felt before. It was sturdy, clearly stitched to last, but ran across her skin like water in a gentle stream. It was lighter than linen, smoother than silk, but thick to touch like flannel. The garment itself was a dark blue in color with a silver Kryptonian crest that was accented with red across the chest the likes Lena had never before seen. 

Lena wrapped her fingers around the material, watching its iridescence shimmer in the light. “This is Kryptonian fabric,” she said, her fingers tightening around the garment. 

Lena stuffed the shirt back into the bag and discarded the gift from her possession with a repugnant scoff. She could see words forming on Kara’s lips, but they were cut off by Nia backtracking down the stairs, stopping halfway and leaning over the railing with a forced smile. 

“Not to like, raise any alarms. Everything’s fine,” she said. “But Val should probably get a change of clothes and your closet is sort of covered in cream cheese.” 

Hank reached into one of the bags, pulled out the first outfit he could find and tossed the set up over the rail. 

Lena pursed her lips and stood up, following Nia as the younger woman ran back up the stairs and across her home. she pulled off her suit jacket and pulled up her sleeves, laying the jacket over the railing of the second-floor hall before rounding the open-door behind Nia, the others not far behind her. The closet door was wide open now, smears of cheese drawn all the lower half of the door and the walls, crumbs of fried wonton wrapper stepped on and crushed into dust and smeared with cheese against the hardwood floors. 

Val stood a few feet outside of the closet, pantless, his silver-blue wrinkled shirt stained with equal parts spit and cheese. it looked as if he had leaned into his newly created wall art at some point and then tried to wipe it off with his hands. He was listening to Nia, following her instructions and pulling his shirt over his head by neckline, stretching the fabric in ways that horrified Lena before throwing it on the floor. 

Val noticed her as she entered and smiled as he raised his arms up for Nia to help him change. “I messed,” he said. 

Lena grabbed a towel from the guest bathroom and began washing the remnants of food off of Val's hands. “How did you get him out of the closet?” Lena asked, rubbing forearms clean. 

“I asked him if he needed to pee and he said ‘yes’,” Nia shrugged. 

Moving to clean Val’s face, Lena said, “Sounds like you’re more qualified for this job than I am.” 

Nia laughed. “Most days I can hardly take care of myself.” 

Nia handed Val a clean shirt and Lena watched curiously as he attempted to dress himself, his head finding every opening except for the neckline until Lena grabbed the shirt and gave it a tug, forcing his head through the right hole. 

“Pants too.” 

Val nodded. “I can do it.” 

“Looks like you’re doing a pretty good job to me,” Alex added as she leaned into the doorway, head bobbing to emphasize the rag in Lena’s hand and the fact that Val was now using her shoulders to balance as he stepped into a clean pair of pants. 

Behind Alex, Kara was smiling, her eyes sparkling like little crescent moons. Her arms were crossed as if she were giving herself a hug, her fingers tangled in the seams of her cardigan. “Supergirl was right to trust you,” she said, earning an approving nod from Alex. “You’re gonna be great.” 

“If Supergirl she really cared about her own people, she’d be here herself,” Lena said, standing as a disconnect fell upon Kara’s features. “Be sure to tell her that for me next time you land an exclusive, will you?” 

* * *

Kara had a plan: 

Step one: assemble an army of support both for Kara emotionally and Lena physically. 

Step two: acquire stuff. Kara didn’t know much about toddlers in the parental sense, but Alex did, so whatever Alex said Lena would need, Kara got. 

Step three: prove to Lena that she was an important and valued friend – both to Kara and Supergirl. 

Step four: tell Lena everything. 

The plan, however, didn’t account for the fact that Lena hadn’t spoken to Kara for hours. 

Following the reveal of Val’s biodegradable masterpiece spread across Lena’s closet walls, Lena proclaimed Nia a child whisperer and recruited her to help keep Val entertained while she cleaned the mess he had made while unsupervised. Kara was about to offer her help, but then Lena decided that there were too many people in the room and that the risk of driving Val back into hiding was too great. Ultimately, Alex agreed – albeit with a reluctant groan – and so Kara, Alex, Kelly, Hank, and Brainy were left to return to the mess of supplies they had abandoned downstairs. 

Too stubborn to leave, clothes were sorted and folded, tags removed, and shoes set together in pairs. Kitchenware was cleaned, stacked and organized despite the fact that the kitchen itself looked as if it had been used a grand total of never in all the years Lena had lived here. Toys were unwrapped, stuffed with batteries and then organized into groups on the dining room table or scattered creatively throughout Lena’s home in places that Alex deemed appropriate. Kara organized the books alphabetically by author and later again by title, and child locked the cabinets in the kitchen, the China Cabinet and the living room while the others plugged outlets, set up booster seats, locked balcony doors and – in Brainy’s case – hacked into the smart system to verify security and functionality. 

When Nia and Lena did finally emerge from the guest room, Lena looked completely exhausted. Her usually sleek ponytail was long ago abandoned, her hair splaying around her face in unkempt waves and her sleeves were pushed unceremoniously up over her elbows. She slung her arm to the railing and grabbed her jacket with fleeting motivation, but instead of pulling it on she slung it over her shoulder, keeping it in place with a hooked finger while the other hand found its way into her pocket. 

Nia embraced Lena in a fast hug, wiggled her fingers in goodbye and just as Kara tried to give the duo some semblance of privacy, she saw Lena whisper the words, “Thank you.” 

Kara slumped into the couch. 

“Did you get everything finished?” Nia asked as she plopped onto the couch between Brainy and Kelly. 

“Not quite,” Brainy said. “Without access to the assigned bedroom, we couldn’t put away everything that we set out to.” 

“You’ve all done more than enough,” Lena said, her voice gruff. “Thank you.” 

“You should thank Kara,” Hank said. “She figured you wouldn’t have time to get set up on your own and organized this whole thing.” 

Kara perked up, but Lena wasn’t looking. It wasn’t often that Kara saw Lena reaching her mental or emotional breaking point, but it was clear as day that she was teetering dangerously close. She ran her fingers through her hair, pushing back the fallen locks as she trudged down the steps. Her eyes were heavy-lidded and her lips were twisted into something that resembled a pout, but somehow Lena maintained an aura of grace power in spite of her state. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, lazy eyes scanning over her guests before dismissing them all in favor of an earlier abandoned bottle of liquor. 

“Send my assistant the receipts and I’ll be sure you reimburse you,” Lena said as she leaned her elbows onto the bar. 

“You don’t owe us anything,” Kara said. “We’re your friends.” 

Lena pulled the crystal stopper off the decanter. “An additional twenty percent for gratuity sounds fair.” 

Kara gave Alex a searching look, her bottom lip tangled between her teeth, desperate for assistance, but Alex didn’t notice. She was looking at her phone, sharing the screen with Kelly with a crinkled brown and huff of disappointment. 

“I have to go. Summoned to the field,” Alex announced. “Dox, you too.” 

Lena, about to pour herself a drink, backtracked her movements and resealed the decanter. “Is everything alright?” 

Alex waved a hand dismissively. “Yeah. It’s nothing major. Just some xenophobic asshole harassing his neighbor. But I know the guy and he’s been through a lot these last few months so I promised him if anything happened that I’d be there to sort it out.” 

Kara sighed. “It’s getting late, actually. So, we should all probably be heading out.” 

Hank nodded. “I do have a client I’m meeting first thing in the morning.” 

“And unlike you,” Nia said to Kara. “I have an article due first thing in the morning.” 

“Actually, Kara,” Lena said as she stepped away from the bar and towards Kara. “I could really use your help. You don’t mind sticking around for a little while do you?” 

Alex opened her mouth with an inward breath that turned into her trademark ‘bright idea’ smile. The same smile that always managed to get her and Kara in trouble. Her sister spun on her heels and peeled her coat from the backside of the couch. She shrugged into it before helping Kelly into hers and then fumbled through the pile and tossed Brainy his. “Let’s move, Dox. I want to get home at a decent time tonight,” she said as he caught his jacket. Alex turned to Kara next. “I want a full report on everything. First impressions with books, colors, toys, food, everything. I need to know.” 

Lena arched a slender eyebrow and smiled. “Of course,” she said. “You’ll be the first one I report to.” 

Alex didn’t give Kara a chance to respond before she was turning on her heels again and ushered herself and the others towards the Elevator while saying to her girlfriend, “This shouldn’t take long. I’ll see you at my apartment tonight?” 

One by one all her friends filed into the elevator and disappeared, leaving Kara alone with Lena. 

On the one hand, she had wanted nothing more than the opportunity to spend with Lena. They had hardly seen one another for months, especially these past few weeks, and Kara severely missed her time with her friend. At the same time, any chance to spend with Lena was an opportunity to get to know Val; a refugee like herself from Krypton. 

On the other hand, being around Lena made Kara’s skin itch. The woman was powerful and inspiring and quick to cut ties with anyone who wasn’t worthy of her love and devotion. She was simultaneously the embodiment of everything the Luthor name stood for and everything it could never be and Kara — Lena’s best friend — was also her rival. A rival who preached about truth and honesty while refusing to trust in the person who had earned it the most. 

Most of all, Kara was uncomfortable with the idea of leaving Alex without support. Supergirl was always there when Alex needed her – even when she didn’t know or think that she would. It was sort of their thing; unconditional support, both on and off duty. 

Kara twisted her fingers around the hem of her cardigan. She knew what Alex was doing by encouraging her to stay, but nothing had gone Kara’s way all night, and her nerves were beginning to waver. That was the thing with Lena; she always managed to turn Kara into a blubbering puddle. She had that effect on everyone, like some sort of superpower all its own. But when it came to Kara and her double life, being in Lena's presence was like being hit with kryptonite. 

“You look worried,” Lena observed as she poured herself a glass of scotch. 

Kara pursed her lips. “When it comes to Alex’s job, I usually am.” 

Lena glided across the room and opened a cabinet full of wine. Her fingers scrolled down the bottles until she reached a particularly strange labeled bottle and plucked it from the shelf. “Unless you’re a liar and you actually do like scotch, Cabernet Sauvignon is the best I can offer.” 

Kara tried her best to laugh at Lena’s joke but ducked behind the act of adjusting her glasses. “That sounds great.” 

Pouring a generous serving of the dry red, Lena passed the glass over to Kara and took a seat opposite of her before directing her attention to the coffee table between them. 

Kara cupped the glass between her finger and licked her lips, watching as Lena fingered through the stacks of folded clothing with a judgmental eye. “You know, when Alex told me that you were taking Val instead of her, I was worried.” She said. “But, seeing you with him… he responds to you.” 

Lena tipped the glass between her lips and rolled her eyes. “He responds to Nia,” she corrected. 

Kara sipped at her wine. Her eyes fluttering between the swirls of the dry red and the scowl of red lips. “To be fair,” she said. “She swore on the way over that they would be best friends before she left.” 

Lena hummed. “Mission accomplished, I guess,” she said looking at her half-finished glass. 

Kara wanted to ask what had transpired in the guest room between Lena, Nia, and Val, but she couldn’t get her voice to cooperate. Her lips parted, closed again, and hid behind the glass of wine as she drowned her emotions with alcohol. 

On krypton, the guardianship of a child was something the entire community took part in. Families, friends, neighbors… there was always a comradery within the community that Kara rarely saw on Earth outside of her circle of friends. Alex, Hank, Winn and James, Nia and Brainy and Lena — especially Lena… They were a big part of the reason why Kara was able to accept Earth has her home. If Val’s Krypton on Earth One was anything like Kara’s, then he deserved that same sense of community and support that Kara had gotten during her childhood. It was instrumental to their culture, a core element of who they were. 

“I think it says a lot that Alex called you,” Kara tried, words falling awkwardly from hesitant lips. “And if Alex trusts you, you should trust you too.” 

Lena scoffed and swallowed back the last of her drink. 

“I'm serious,” Kara said. “it wasn’t easy for her to admit someone else was better equipped to spur of the moment parenting than she was.” 

Piling clothing into her arms, Lena said. “Let's be perfectly clear: she asked me because I have the financial status to support this, not because she thought I was good with children. I live a high publicity lifestyle. Nothing can befall a boy that I publicly announce as my ward without, ultimately, destroying my own reputation. This is nothing to do with trust.” 

“So why, then?” 

Lena dropped the clothes back on the table and folded her arms over her chest, looking down on Kara with a bitter scowl. “You know why.” 

Kara bit down on her lip. 

“Supergirl and I are fundamentally different people; no different than Lex and Superman. Lex and I are fundamentally different people too. Whatever reason she has that can’t understand that isn’t my problem. I have nothing to prove to her. But…” 

Lena always did feel trapped by the Luthor name and she had never once shied away from her intent to rebrand herself. Not from Kara, or Alex and the DEO, or even Supergirl. But after everything that happened, Kara knew it would be stupid to assume Lena would ever be the same. 

Kara reached across the coffee table and grabbed the gift bag she had made for Lena as a gift from Supergirl. She pulled the shirt from the gift bag and folded it onto her lap, letting her fingers run across the fabric as if to smooth wrinkles that weren’t there. She had really thought that this peace offering would help repair the bridge between Supergirl and Lena enough for her to admit the truth. Instead, Lena threw it aside like rotten food, completely uninterested in anything Supergirl had to offer. 

Lena reached down and pulled the shirt away so that she could look at it herself. She cast a pitying eye at Kara and heaved a defeated sigh before folding the shirt and placing it on top of a pile of clothes and bundling them all in her arms. 

“Supergirl and I have our differences,” Lena said with this defeated disregard to her words that pulled at Kara’s heartstrings and made stomach twist into knots. “I don’t trust her — honestly, I was a fool for ever even trying — but she isn’t awful. At the end of the day, she isn’t a Luthor, and I’m not my brother. It may not be much, but it is something. More than Superman and Lex, at least.” 

Kara felt her cheeks warm as a smile pulled at the corners of her lips. 

“Now, I didn’t ask for you to stay just to sit around and drink a $400 bottle of wine. Help me get this stuff you bought upstairs.” 


	3. Chapter 3

There were certain skills required of a business executive, be that person man, woman, both, or neither, that we’re crucial to success. One of those was Golf. But the other, a skill far more important in Lena’s experience, was drinking. More specifically, drinking scotch. Lena was great at drinking scotch: both on and off the job. 

But that was just it, wasn’t it? A good business executive was always on the job, and Lena was no exception. Be it working in the office, hashing it out with her board, arguing the finer details of a contract, or proving herself to Gotham City’s Diamond District heirs, Lena was always able to hold her own as well as she could hold her liquor. She could battle the best of them, beat them too; both in the boardroom and the bar. 

There were times that Lena would drink until the single digit hours of the night and wake up the next morning feeling spectacular. The only one from a group of hard drinking men able to pull herself out of bed and get right back to work as if her inebriation from the night before had been a rejuvenating spa trip. 

She did not feel good this morning. 

Lena curled around her duvet, squeezing her eyes shut even though the there was hardly any light from the mid-morning sun breaching through the closed drapes of her bedroom. Everything was rocking and sloshing and spinning; her bed now a ship determined to sail rough waters. She rolled over; the feeling of crashing waves hurling her like a meteor through space destined to burn away in the sun as something akin to a groan grated against her vocal cords. 

She felt the way her brother had lived and died; untethered, out of control, spiraling down and unable to stop. 

Lena bat a lazy arm at the sun and let it fall over her eyes. She hated this feeling. Not the sickening in her stomach or the dry scratch of death in her throat. She hated feeling defeated, burdened. She hated feeling the way Lex looked when he choked out a bloody laugh with his very last breath. This is what failure felt like, and failure does not suit a Luthor. 

She clawed at her resolve and forced herself to sit up, catching her head in her hands and rubbing at her eyes with the palms of her hands. Her feet pressed into a heated floor and but Lena still felt weightless and wild. She focused on the pools of warmth against her heels, her toes, letting the heat rise up through her pores as she rooted herself back to reality. Then, with a shaking breath and a refusal to her body’s protest to crawl back into bed until the pain stopped, Lena pushed herself to her feet. 

It was all just a mask for something far deeper anyway. 

Lena pulled her sluggish limbs across the master bedroom, peeling her clothes off her body as she stumbled her way into the shower and doused her skin with steaming water. Her body was so desperate for hydration she could almost feel her pores opening up to drink the water as it ran down her body and warmed her aching muscles. She was too tired to actually clean herself, but still, she stayed there, back pressed against the wall, water spraying on her skin until her lips turned blue and her teeth rattled like a machine gun in her skull. 

Under the freezing water, Lena did her best to remove the grime of last night’s well-set priorities and newly resolved life goals. Then, unable to stand the cold any longer, she emerged from the shower in only minutely better shape than when she had gone in. At the very least, she no longer smelled like a mausoleum; remnants of patchouli soap drifting through the steam around her and dulling her blown senses with something other than the smell of liquid death. 

She wobbled out of the shower and threw a towel carelessly over her head as she meandered towards her closet. Hungover, still drunk, depressed, it didn’t matter what it was she was feeling. She would not let this cumbersome state of being affect her work. 

Her cellphone was on the floor between the bed frame and the nightstand and Lena couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her when she saw the blinking critical state of the battery. _ Fitting _, she thought as she discarded her phone onto her bed and yanked the towel from her head. 

Lena knew she needed something soft and easy to wear that maintained her professional status if she were going to make it into the office at all today and settled on a soft, white button-down shirt and black high wasted pants. She sighed into the clean fabric against her skin; reveling in the feeling of being one step closer to feeling like herself again and pulled her hair into her signature, sleek and strong high pony tail. 

She put herself together the best she could; bright red lipstick, watch, just the right amount of jewelry to accessorize her simplistic look and then grabbed her phone from the bed and promptly put herself to work. 

She strolled down the stairs, ignoring the throbbing in her head from looking into blue lights and poured herself a cup of coffee when she reached the kitchen. Her body moved through the motions of her morning routine without her thinking: responding to emails, checking her watch, sipping black coffee, scanning her MAPI Outlook calendar, composing and responding to more emails and drinking more coffee. She was halfway through a response to her assistant regarding the Wayne Enterprises contract when something odd caught her eye. 

Lena rubbed at her eyes again, confused by the plastic eyesore sitting in her living room and wondering for far too long if it was actually even there until she realized – 

“Fuck.” 

Lena abandoned her work in a frenzy, disregarding her coffee as she whirled around the kitchen island and through the house. She plowed up the stairs, the pounding of her feet against the wood reverberating up her spine and into her already throbbing head. Ignoring the pain she flew down the hall and pulled open her guest room door, almost stumbling over her own feet to see what lie on the other side. 

Inside, Val was standing on the bed: orange t-shirt inside out and backwards, blue shorts crooked but, dressed none the less. A fact Lena was sure to document in the back of her mind for her official observations. The room itself was as much of a wreck as Val’s outfit, looking like a tornado had blown through with the deliberate intent to undo everything she had worked so hard to set up. 

The sight was enough to encourage a relieved sigh from Lena, but she was immediately over her head again when Val noticed her standing in the door and pointed angrily at her and shouted, “Lena!” 

Lena shut the door behind her and pointed back. “Val,” she said, her tone more a question than a statement. “What are you doing?” 

Val bounced on the bed, his feet failing to come off the ground. “Look what I can do.” He bounced again – no better than the first time – and smiled brightly as he bounced, the stuffed duck in his hands flapping with excited flails. 

Lena gave a breathy laugh, relieved more than anything that the boy was — at least by first appearances — completely fine. Her room however, was a complete disaster. 

In part, that was her and Kara’s fault. 

* * *

_ Lena was completely beside herself. _

_ She only asked Kara to stay so that she would come up with an excuse to leave and, if Lena was precise enough, expose Kara as the traitorous liar that she was. But her plan backfired. Kara not only stayed behind to help Lena, but she was being a better friend than ever before, and Lena was not on board with ‘Kara is a good friend’ hour. _

_ It made her feel unclean. _

_ So, Lena helped herself to more alcohol to drown the vile taste in her mouth and made the executive decision to accept Kara’s help. No matter what her personal feelings were, she had a very limited amount of time to make real, legitimate progress with the Val- _ _ Zod _ _ situation and Kara was the best person to assist her in that endeavor. After all, pretending to be human was probably Kara’s greatest skill and if Lena could not confront it, perhaps she could harness it and use it when she finally took her petition for guardianship public. _

_ With Nia’s earlier help, Lena managed to get the room clean and in working order again. She also managed to find time to organize the closet, redecorate and reorganize the bathroom to be more child friendly, cover any exposed outlets, remove anything potentially life threatening to a human of similar age, and all around prepare for Val to essentially live in the little bubble that was her guest room. She gotten a lot done, but it was all preparation. Now, she actually needed to move all of the gifts of clothes and toy from her living room into the room that would serve as Val’s bedroom (and possibly his entire world) for the coming months. _

_ She knew it could take weeks, or even months for Val to grow comfortable enough to step outside, but she was hoping that she could at least steer him towards exploring the rest of her home before the week was out. In order to do that, she needed to address two things: his fear of open spaces and his trust in her. He needed to be comfortable enough to come to her for anything he might need or want, but be uncomfortable enough to ensure he didn’t settle for what he had and refuse to take steps towards self-improvement. _

_ Nia thought the whole plan was bordering on being “too Luthor”, but Lena promptly reminded her that a Luthor was exactly who they asked for help. Regardless of how it seemed, children needed structure, routine, and reinforcement. They were like pets in that regard; though Lena knew better than to compare a child to a dog to the public ear. _

_ Still, Nia had provided her with much needed insight, and an even more needed extra set of hands, and now Lena knew exactly what she needed to do. _

_ Sort of. _

_ She knew what she needed to do in regards to desensitizing Val. She knew what she needed to do in terms of legal work and scientific study. What she didn’t know was how to be soft or warm to a _ _ Kryptonian _ _ when all she had knew was how to be cold and jaded. That was where Kara would come in handy. _ _ Supergirl _ _ may have already met Val- _ _ Zod _ _ , but ‘Kara’ hadn’t and her assistance tonight served as their official meeting. _

_ When they opened the door, Val was blabbering nonsensical _ _ Kryptonese _ _ at himself and continued the trend by pointing and shouting in the strange language as soon as he laid eyes on Kara. Lena immediately noted how lucky Kara was that Val was three, struggled to speak clearly in any language, and was probably too exhausted to effectively communicate anything even if English was his first language in his current state. _

_ “I guess he likes me,” Kara said feigning surprise. _

_ Lena hummed. “I guess he does.” _

_ Kara chalked up the _ _ Kryptonese _ _ to sleepiness and disorientation, laughing awkwardly every time he tried to speak to her in their native tongue and at this point, Lena was almost willing to accept that as truth. Admitting that a three-year-old could better call out _ _ Supergirl’s _ _ identity than she could was a little too much to deal with given the current state of affairs. _

_ “Maybe he thinks you look like _ _ Supergirl _ _ ,” she said. _

_ Kara laughed again, more awkward than she did the first time. “You think?” _

_ Lena steeled her jaw and bit down on her cheeks. She was literally giving Kara an opportunity to come clean and all she could do was laugh it off. _

_ “I need another drink.” _

* * *

Lena felt sick to her stomach. 

Never in her life had she seen a room so mercilessly torn apart. The bottom shelf of the in-wall bookshelf was empty, Children's books pulled and thrown about the room. The academic textbooks that were left in the corner of the room overnight were open and thrown about with wrinkled pages, broken spines and toys set atop them like kings on their throne. The bed was separate disaster with sheets pulled out and untucked, the corner of the fitted sheet barely clinging to the edge of the bed. Toys were discovered and later abandoned in various messes about the room, clothing was pulled from the walk-in closet and left in a trail back to the middle of the room, and the floor beneath it all was impossible to find. 

She made a mental note to hire a more consistent cleaning crew, and at least two nannies. 

“Alright, Kid,” Lena said, wading through the disastrous mess on her floor. “It’s time to eat. Do you want to come downstairs?” 

“No,” Val said flatly. 

Lena pursed her lips. _ At least he’s honest about it. _

She looked at him with curious interest. She wasn’t familiar with the concept of being told ‘no’; at least not by anyone that wasn’t Lilian. Especially when it came to something as simple and logical as instructions for one’s general survival and comfort. But Val wasn’t most people. He wasn’t yet tainted by the world in ways that led to deception or compromise and the fact that he didn’t want to do something was reason enough to say no. But what Lena observed most was his awareness of his own discomfort for new or unnecessarily large spaces. As if, even as a child, Val understood that if he felt comfortable, he saw no reason to leave that comfort. 

“You need to eat,” she said, as if reasoning and logic were appropriate responses to toddler stubbornness and insubordination. 

Val didn’t care to listen, choosing a path of deliberate disobedience by feigning a failure to comprehend or even hear what she was telling him. As annoying as it was, Lena was impressed. 

Lena tensed her jaw and swallowed. There was a difficulty to finding a balance between scientific observations and personal feelings of frustration that she hadn’t prepared for. She felt as if she could crawl out of her skin at the sight of her guest room, but at the same time was intensely fascinated by normalcy of the actions by child with severe trauma. She wanted to scream and reprimand him for ignoring her, but couldn’t let the opportunity for discovery and understanding pass her by. She hated the way it made her feel, especially when it combined with the sloshing dizziness of alcohol and dehydration. 

“Alright,” she tried, rubbing at her temples with her thumb and forefinger. “Would you eat if I brought you something?” 

Nothing. 

“Val.” 

Val looked up, his crystal blue Kryptonian eyes tearing like a cleaver through her chest. 

“Are you hungry?” 

He nodded. 

Lena rolled her eyes and backed out of the room. “Great,” she said. “Wait here.” 

The problem she faced now was a small, slight inconvenience wrapped up in a much larger and slightly embarrassing issue. Despite the assortment of top of the line appliances that lined her kitchen, Lena didn’t keep food in her house that wasn’t coffee or booze. Even if she did, she wouldn’t have the slightest clue as to where any of those appliances were stored or how they worked. The concept of buying food wasn’t something foreign to her, rather it was a waste of her time and money. She worked too many hours, was home too scarcely; food was simply better off being brought to her one meal at a time. 

Still, she opened the fridge anyway. Sometimes, there would be a half-finished container of takeout or a piece of fruit lying around and with the sudden inclusion of a child to her home, she was really hoping to find something other than the takeout she had forgotten to refrigerate the night before to offer him. Alas, there was nothing. 

Lena mulled over the idea of calling her assistant and having her bring brunch for the two of them as she opened the freezer, knowing it to be empty but moving through the movements regardless. Only, the freezer wasn’t empty. 

* * *

_ Val jumped off the bed, arms _ _ thrown _ _ out in front of him _ _ . _ _ He _ _ howled with laughter _ _ and _ _ landed in _ _ Kara’s arms, Kara laughing with him all the while. _

_ Lena _ _ didn’t want to admit it, but _ _ Kara _ was _ right _ _ : _ _ Val _ _ did like her. He loved her _ _ , actually. _

_ While Lena fussed over the layout (and low key died a little inside over the onslaught of primary colors and plastic noise makers) in her guest room, Kara turned the bedroom itself into a “Space fort”. _

_ She left the bottom corners of the bed tucked in, but dragged a lamp and a chair across the room to tie _ _ the _ _ two separate ends of the sheets around. _ _ Pillows were placed around the floor _ _ under the sheet ceiling, her duvet splayed around as a makeshift spacecraft floor, and _ _ the entire contraception was decorated with toys. _ _ Kara had planned for them to play in _ _ the _ _ fort, but after introducing “Lift Off” from the bed and into her arms, it was all Val wanted to _ _ do. And _ _ Kara being, well _ _ , _ _ Kara, _ _ she was more than happy to oblige _ _ and _ _ Val had spent every second either climbing on, or jumping off the bed since. _

_ Well beyond _ _ a dozen _ _ jumps later, _ _ past the point in which Lena realized _ _ she had drank too much _ _ and _ _ was _ _ far too engrossed with _ _ the _ _ organization of her guest room closet _ _ , Val announced, “I’m hungry _ _ ,” to anyone who would listen. _

_ Kara blinked as the boy crashed in to her, an obligatory “oh,” passing over her lips _ _ in the process. _ _ Still holding _ _ Val _ _ , Kara snaked an arm around to adjust her glasses and said, _ _ “I guess it has been a few hours since the Chinese food _ _ .” _

The Chinese food._ Lena could feel the impulse to retch over Kara’s half attempted disclosure budding in her gut. But as soon as Lena recognized the feeling, it was gone again. “That’s all I’ve got to offer,” she said. _

_ Kara beamed. “No, it’s not.” _

_ “Excuse me?” _

_ Kara shifted Val in her arm and helped him down as he squirmed for freedom. “Lena, come on. No one in National City knows you like I do,” she said and as much Lena hated to admit it, she knew it was true. “Do you really think I would bring all this stuff over and not remember that you’ve never cooked a meal in your adult life?” _

_ Lena opened her mouth, insulted but not surprised, by the call out. “I can cook if the occasion calls for it.” _

_ “I never said you couldn’t. Just that you never have,” Kara said. _

_ Val was scrambling up the side of the bed again and without missing a beat, Kara extended her arms again to catch him. _

_ “Not you,” he proclaimed, pointing an accusing finger. “Lena.” _

_ Kara smiled. “Your turn. Just in time, too. I’ll be right back.” _

_ Lena lunged across the room to where Kara had only moments ago stood in a desperate attempt to catch a fearless Val as he leapt through the air. She managed to catch him, barely, and the boy was laughing excitedly over the added element of danger. Lena meanwhile, felt her heart beating like a hammer in her chest; the kind of pounding that reverberated through her entire body like a rhythmic shuddering. _

_ She wondered if Val could hear it. But Val had other things on his mind. He scrambled out of her hold, ran under the blanket that was the roof of the ‘space fort’ and climbed back onto the bed. _

_ Kara reemerged from the world beyond her guest room shortly after _ _ and offered Val a sandwich round, of which he accepted with eager hands. _

_ “I know they’re not the healthiest thing,” she admitted. “But honestly, when I first moved in with my foster family I lived on macaroni and cheese and _ _ Nutella exclusively for the first year.” _

_ Lena watched as Val picked at the jelly stuffed bread while chewing loudly with an open mouth. She turned her attention back to Kara, who was watching Val with so much joy and pride in her crystal blue eyes; a smile playing with her face in ways that made Lena’s stomach tie itself in knots. _

_ “Kara,” Lena said, not sure if it was her own volition or the whiskey driving her forward. _

_ Kara turned to look at her, her eyes soft and trusting and vulnerable and everything Lena had ever loved about Kara Danvers _ _ . _ _ More than that she saw _ _ ev _ _ erything that _ _ dared to make her feel jaded, betrayed and lied to. _

_ Val shouted and _ _ ejected _ _ himself _ _ from _ _ the bed, sandwich still in hand, _ _ and crashed into Kara’s unexpected _ _ arms, tearing those violently soft blues away from Lena just long enough for her to regain her composure. _

_ Her thoughts set straight, _ _ Lena _ _ took in a breath of air and straightened her spine. _ _ “You’ve been a big help tonight _ _ ,” she said. “I don’t know what I would have done without you. _ _ ” _

* * *

Lena found herself frowning at freezer, cold air blowing on her face. Inside, there were four boxes of frozen food: corn dogs, pizza, an open box of crust free peanut butter and jelly sandwich circles, and fruit stuffed toasted pastries of which Lena felt equal parts intrigue and concern over. 

With a disgruntled groan, she grabbed one of the sandwiches and closed the fridge. 

She set the sandwich on the counter, grabbed her teetering on room temperature coffee and nursed her hangover with caffeine. The first few swallows hit her throat like a reprieve. Lena relaxed around the lukewarm in her hands and eyed the plastic wrapped sandwich. It seemed disgusting and she knew that being mass produced meant it was lacking in even the slightest nutrition, but her coffee wasn’t much better and really... she was in no position to judge; she didn’t eat anything homemade that wasn’t bitter bean water or ice. 

She flipped on the kitchen faucet to warm and placed the prepackaged sugar saucer under the water with a dejected sigh. Unhealthy or not, it was food that a toddler was willing to eat, that Lena didn’t have to prepare hungover (or at all). And despite the fact that it left a sour taste in her mouth, Kara did in fact know her all too well. 

It should have come as no surprise. Her relationship with Kara, as strained as may be, was as deep as was complex. Kara had this way about her; something Lena never quite knew how to put in words. Whatever it was, made Lena feel as though she could trust Kara with everything. It made her feel as though she would never be judged for her mistakes or held accountable for the actions of her family. Kara held her in the best light; made her feel as if she really could become the woman she vowed to one day to be. 

Lena told Kara everything, trusted in her more deeply than she trusted even in Lex. It only made sense that Kara would know her better than Lex too. 

She looked at the sandwich in her sink: oddly symbolic. It made her want to gag and this time she knew for a fact the instinct wasn’t from a hangover. She was disgusted with Kara, but she was disgusted with herself even more. 

Watching this sticky sweet sandwich, walls of ice melting under the water…it made Lena feel things she didn’t want to feel anymore. 

She shook her head and finished her coffee before shutting the faucet off and unwrapping the sandwich that was now soft to touch but still quite cold. She flipped through her cabinets until she found a green see through plastic plate with high edges and divider walls and lamely set the sandwich in whichever compartment it felt it could sit in before meandering back upstairs. 

“Here,” she said, sticking the plate in Val’s hands before he had an opportunity to launch himself off the bed and into her. “Eat this.” 

Val devoured the sandwich in a matter of moments, making far less of a mess than Lena anticipated in the process. He offered the plastic plate back to her, wiping his face with his free hand and then onto his once clean shirt. “Thank you,” he smiled. 

She wasn’t sure if it was his accent or just the way that toddlers speak that usually made him so difficult to understand, but the clarity of his words was so striking that Lena shifted from repulsion to surprised delight as she accepted the plate and said, “You’re most welcome.” 

Val smiled a cheeky, toothy grin and resumed bouncing on the bed. 

“Wait. Wait.” 

Val gave her a wide-eyed look. 

With the reprieve from his bouncing, Lena set the plate aside and reached out to Val. She grabbed him by his shoulders and pulled him closer as she yanked the shirt off over his head. “Wait here,” she instructed 

Lena waded through the mess, pulled a red shirt from the closet, inspected it, and with a nod of approval, turned back towards Val. “Arms up,” she told him, giving his shorts a twist and with her assistance, Val’s newly selected shirt was pulled – properly – over his head. 

Aside from the mess that enveloped the room around him, he almost looked presentable. With the Robin on his shirt, he looked human, like a kid from Gotham obsessed with the boy wonder himself. All he needed was a proper haircut and some additions to his wardrobe to speak to her socialite expectations and he might just pass as her Ward. 

The state of this room, however… 

“Alright, Val,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “If you’re not going to leave, then you’re going to have to help me clean.” 

* * *

Despite her hours at CatCo getting cut, Kara was as busy as ever. 

It started with a distress beacon from the DEO sometime around four in the morning. There was an entire ship of refugees from the Planet Kahlo that arrived overnight and, between their addiction to something called Belamort and their claims of a bio-engineered virus sweeping the planet that now posed a threat to Earth, Kara found her day getting busier by the minute. 

An entire wing of the DEO was converted for containment of the refugees in the early hours of the morning while Kara and Alex (dressed to protect themselves from exposure) took the information of each individual on the ship and dressed them in protective containment suits that would allow for transport from the ship to the DEO facility. One by one, the refugees were escorted by Supergirl form the ship to the containment wing and after each move, Brainy ran a satellite sweep of the city to ensure that Earth remained virus free. 

It wasn’t until one that the last of the refugees were escorted into the building and Kara was able to take off her protective suit. She sat in the lab with Alex, watching her sister work as she studied the virus strand in hopes concocting a serum for a universal antidote. Science had never been Kara’s strong suit on Krypton, but her knowledge she had learned in her limited schooling on her home world was still centuries beyond the Earth’s and she thought that by sticking around, she might be able to provide some additional insight to the strange bioweapon. 

Alex leaned back in her chair and stretched her arms over her head. Her hair, usually sleek and tidy was beginning to fall around her face and the bags under her eyes could pass as designer. Unlike Kara, who managed to snag at least a few hours of sleep, Alex had been up all night; working hard to get as much done without the help of Supergirl as possible. 

“I still can’t believe you didn’t tell her,” she said, stifling a yawn. 

Alex had been peeved with Kara ever since she admitted that she still had yet to come clean to Lena about her secret identity. 

“It wasn’t the right time,” she pleaded. “Lena was drinking and—” 

If only you knew what being drunk felt like. If you did, you would have known that last night was the perfect opportunity.” Alex paused. “Honesty is the _ only _ policy when alcohol is involved... And sometimes crying and or sex. Depends on the situation.” 

Kara raised a shoulder. “She figured out you weren’t with the FBI in all of two seconds,” she said. “If she really wanted to, Lena could have figured out I was Supergirl just as quick. But she doesn’t want to find out on her own, she wants Supergirl to trust her enough to tell her and I’ve spent every opportunity trying to convince her that I’m not me. How am I supposed to tell Lena the truth when she literally hates Supergirl for not trusting her?” 

“The thing about Lena,” Kara continued when her question was met with silence. “When she focuses on you, you feel as if you’re the only ones in the multiverse who exist. And every time I’m with her, either as me or Supergirl, I remember how that feels and... I’m afraid that if I tell her the truth, I’m going to lose her forever.” 

Alex pursed her lips in thought, her chin bobbing. “She does have that effect,” she agreed. “But take it from me: I lied for too long to Maggie about not wanting kids and as hard as it was to come clean, I'm thankful every single day that I did.” 

Kara smiled. She knew how much things had changed for her sister. Between Kelly and her impending adoption, things were going well. Great, even. So much that, in spite of the massive workload that neither of them seemed to be able to escape for more than an hour at the DEO, Alex was still thriving. 

Like now, for example. Kara had been up since four – her sister since the morning prior – tracking down the last veins of the Children of Liberty in the city and cleaning up the perpetual mess of a nation in crisis, dealing with a new batch of refugees from a species they’ve never encountered before, and dissecting a bioweapon from a foreign galaxy. On top of that, Supergirl and Alex were chasing down old leads that might uncover old Lex Luthor bases, top secret weaponry, or illegally acquired information about Kara or Clark that they couldn’t afford to let into the wrong hands. This work was slower mostly in the hands of Brainy at the moment, but every time they thought they had found a point of rest, Agent Dox would announce that he found a clue worth investigating and off they went again. 

It was moments like this in which Kara was thankful for the sudden cut of hours at CatCo. Not stressing about deadlines and work appearances and disappearances took a massive burden off her shoulders. Now, if only her mind would clear the way her schedule had. Maybe then, she’d be more use to Alex and actually be able to wrap up these cases so that her sister could actually have a personal life again instead of burying herself alive with bureaucratic red tape. 

But that was the problem. Kara couldn’t clear her head. 

What thoughts weren’t already reserved for her strife with Lena were now overrun with Val-Zod. It didn’t matter to her that he was from another universe, he had the Kryptonian crystal eyes that Kara hadn’t seen in anyone but herself or Kal-El for so long that even the thought of seeing them again threatened to overwhelm her with excitement. He was like them, a refugee on planet so very different from home. But unlike them, he wasn’t going to be alone. 

It nearly destroyed her to think about Alex not taking him in herself, but if there were anyone on the planet as trustworthy as her sister to care for the boy, it was Lena. 

“Right now, I can’t add that to her plate. Not with Val-Zod there. They’re both already dealing with enough.” 

“How’s he doing by the way?” Alex asked. “Did Lena make any notes for a report? I was hoping to hear from her by now.” 

“He’s adjusting well,” she said. “Better than I expected.” 

“As well as an agoraphobic alien from another universe possibly can?” Alex jotted something down at her desk on a sticky note and stuck it to one of her triple monitors. “What about Lena?” 

“Val likes her, but,” Kara paused, mulling over her words. “She’s not you.” 

Alex’s forehead wrinkled. “Do you think we should check in? I really need a status report so I know how to allocate my people for this project. We should probably let her know about the virus threat too. We don’t know anything about Val’s immunity or if and how this thing affects Kryptonians.” 

“I don’t think a virus is much of an issue for Lena right now. Val refuses leave the guest room so unless Lena or one of us get exposed, there’s no way he can.” 

“Still,” Alex said, leaning back over her work. “Better safe than sorry.” 

* * *

Kara hovered over Lena’s penthouse with her lower lip tangled between her teeth. She was high enough so that human eyes couldn’t see her, but Kara still felt the weight of Lena’s presence on her shoulders dragging her down. 

She took a breath and dropped down, her boots clicking softly against the balcony as landed. Kara forced herself to detangle her lip and exude the signature Supergirl confidence before straightening upright. She crossed the balcony in a few long strides, each click of her boots forcing the image of Lena – one eyebrow raised and skeptic etched in her features when she said, “Maybe he thinks you’re Supergirl.” 

_ Maybe he thinks you’re _ _ Supergirl _ _ . _

_ He thinks you’re _ _ Supergirl _ _ . _

_ You’re _ _ Supergirl _ _ . _

Kara shook her head, throwing the image of Lena as far from the forefront of her mind as she could and rapped her knuckles on the glass pane walls. There were several moments of nothing, and she began to wonder if she were better off changing and trying again as Kara when Lena emerged from the guestroom. 

Lena left the door open at a crack and made her way downstairs; her features twisted like a puzzle at the sight of Supergirl on her balcony. She crossed through the open loft style floor plan and unlocked the balcony door and stepped outside to meet Kara. 

“Supergirl,” she said, in her usual less than thrilled tone. 

“Ms. Luthor,” Kara said, careful to stay in her lane. “How are things going with Val-Zod?” 

Lena shifted her weight to one hip and folded her arms over her chest. “Checking up on me already? For someone who goes on and on about trust and honesty, you really do have a hard time trusting me.” 

“If I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t have asked for your help,” Supergirl defended. 

“You wouldn’t be standing on my balcony asking for an update either.” 

Kara cringed internally at the attack. The way Lena spoke to Supergirl was so different from the way she spoke to Kara. That time stopping attention was there, but instead of the warm feeling of respect and admiration, there was anger and hostility. “Actually, I wouldn’t be here at all if the DEO didn’t ask. I do trust you, Ms. Luthor. I wish you would believe me.” 

Lena rolled her eyes. “Whatever gets you to sleep at night,” she said. 

Kara didn’t know what to say. Everything was so complex now; it had been from the start. A Luthor and a Super? Teaming up? Becoming friends? Lex and Superman used to work together before their infamous fallout, and they made a great team too. And now, just like her cousin and Lena’s brother, their relationship was beginning to strain from the dynamic differences between them. Lena’s power came with publicity; Kara’s came with secrecy. Lena would cross any line to achieve her goals; Kara would rather die than step over her moral boundaries. 

Just like Lex and Superman. 

But Lena and Kara? They were not their family. They were different; she knew they were. There was something different about Lena from the day she first met her, something that Kara would do anything to protect. But somewhere down the line things got twisted and their perceptions diluted. Kara didn’t want that anymore. She wanted something else. 

“You came to National City for a fresh start. To make a name for yourself separate from that of your family.” 

Lena gave her a quizzical look. “And what does that have to do with anything?” 

“I don’t want us to end up like our families did.” 

“Neither do I,” Lena admitted. “Which is why I’ve dedicated myself and my company to good. You’re the one that sees me as nothing more than another Luthor.” 

“If I did, you wouldn’t even know Val-Zod exists.” 

This time it was Lena who was taken aback, the fight stripped from her lips. But Lena was sharp, and the tongue was quick to return to the ring for round three. “You trust me with the last child of Krypton but at the same time, you still won’t tell me who you are because our families have a history you’re too stubborn to let go.” 

“People get hurt, Supergirl. People die. Every day.” she continued. “But you don’t, and that scares you. The very idea of it scares you so much that you’re blinded by self-preservation to the point of putting a child in the hands of someone you believe is dangerous all so that you can prove to the world, and yourself, that you do trust me when – in fact – you don’t. And the only reason you don’t trust me is because I have the capability to make you as vulnerable as the rest of us. To make you feel what it’s like to be human.” 

Lena turned her back on Kara stepped across the threshold to her home. 

“Lena, wait!” Kara caught the door before Lena could close it behind her and gave her a pleading look. 

Lena tilted her head, waiting for an explanation. 

“Last night a group of refugees arrived. They were escaping a virus bioengineered to wipe out all life on their planet,” she said. “We’re doing our best to contain the situation and we haven’t found any traces of the virus getting released into the Earth’s atmosphere, but you should still know.” 

Lena gave a breathy laugh, but her face, much like the situation, wasn’t a humorous one. “And here I thought you we’re going to finally tell me the truth.” 

_ I always tell you the truth, _she wanted to shout, but when in the past this was a defensive stance she could make, today it felt impossible. 

Kara bobbed her head and pursed her lips. “Okay,” she said, after a pregnant pause. “No more lies.” 

Lena opened the door a little wider but just as Kara opened her mouth, she caught the sound of sirens. 

Kara swiveled on her heels and after a few more seconds, she could tell Lena could hear them now too: Fire trucks. 

“Tonight,” Kara promised as she stepped away, prepping herself to take flight. “I’ll be back tonight and I promise, I’ll tell you everything.” 

* * *

Promises from Supergirl meant nothing to Lena, and the fact that she would try and offer one left a bitter taste in her mouth. She tried her best to forget about it, compartmentalize it the way she compartmentalized everything, but even as she typed up her report of initial findings for the DEO, she couldn’t shake Kara from her mind. 

Lena sat in Val’s room, supervising him as he attempted to pick up after himself and documenting some of the finer details of the boy’s capabilities, personality, and quirks. For the most part, Val seemed as human as they come. His movements, body language, speech patterns and comprehension of the world around him suggested that he was in no way different from a human child of the same age. But upon closer examination, Lena began to notice astute differences between him and a typical toddler. 

The first was size. He was quite a bit smaller than the average three-year-old in both height and weight, and while all children were different, no one knew for sure what his approximate age was. The second was his motor skills, which were at first glance, on par with the age Agent Dox had first suggested. 

However, watching the boy clean, Lena began to notice the finer details of his movements, suggesting his motor skills were actually more advanced than a human child of the same age. He moved fast, his little legs surprisingly adept at maneuvering through the mess to take him from point A to B. He was also faster than average when it came to problem solving. 

Watching him solve puzzles of the world around him was intriguing and worthy of its own study all together. 

Still, everything Val-Zod did brought Lena’s thoughts back to Kara. 

Val held up a book and pointed a finger at the central character on the cover. He said something in Kryptonese as he ran over, forgetting to clarify until after he was close enough to shove the book up towards Lena’s face. “It’s Kara,” he explained. “Look” 

“Yes,” Lena said, taking the book. “That’s Kara.” 

For some reason, it was easy for him to put the two identities together. As if he could easily identify features that were more common among Kryptonians than humans. 

“How do you know?” 

Val grabbed her arm and pulled the book back down so that he could point to the cartoonish crest on her chest. “It’s Kara.” 

She looked down at the book as Val ran back across the room. The book, titled _ You Can Be SUPER Too, _ followed a cartoon adventure of Supergirl as she helped children across the globe in which each page was dedicated to a specific trait such as kindness, bravery, and reliability. On the back, someone had written a note to Val in permanent marker. 

Lena ran her fingers over the note and flipped the book back over so that the smiling cartoon Supergirl was staring back at her. 

“It’s Kara.” 

* * *

Kara spent an hour putting on and taking off her super suit before her sister barged through the door. 

“We got a report,” she announced, waving a stack of papers in the air as trounced though the apartment. 

Kara buttoned her shirt over her family crest as she emerged from her bedroom and immediately caught sight of Alex as she used the counter to pop off the cap of a beer. “From Lena? What does it say?” 

“Mm.” Alex’s eyes arched as she swallowed back her beer and met Kara halfway across the apartment. “Came in about an hour ago,” she said handing the report over. “I just finished going over it myself. Basically, aside from the fact that he stubbornly refuses to leave her guest room, she says he’s adapting remarkably well.” 

Kara looked at the document in her hands. It was marked up with Alex’s signature chicken scratch annotations and decorated with sticky note tabs and different color highlighters. She reached a block of yellow highlighter that Alex immediately noticed and tapped with a finger as she took another drink. 

“She went as far as to detail mannerisms and actions that seem to be adapted from human behavior versus things that she believes stem from outer world behaviors, as well as her own observations and assessment regarding his age and development,” Alex explained as Kara read the text. “She’s pretty convinced that Brainy compared his development too much to humans initially, and went off on this huge list of things she thinks needs more observation and dedicated research” 

Kara continued to flip through the pages. She noted that Alex marked any negatives (mostly in regards to trauma) in pink, positives in blue, and areas of potential research in yellow. Along the margins her sister scribbled her follow up questions and notated any differences between Brainy’s initial observation and Lena’s. “There’s nothing in here about powers,” Kara noted when she reached the last page. “Maybe he doesn’t have any?” 

“Maybe they just haven’t surfaced yet.” Alex shrugged and took back the report. “By the sound of this report, she’s got a lot to look in to. Maybe something will reveal itself then. In the meantime, we’re going to proceed under the assumption that he simply hasn’t developed powers rather than that he doesn’t have any.” 

“Probably a good idea,” Kara agreed. 

Alex flopped onto her couch, groaning dramatically as she bounced on the cushions. “Look, you know I'm exhausted,” she started, waving a hand. “And I’m sorry if you’ve told me already but, why exactly are you wearing your super suit under your clothes right now?” 

Kara looked down at the bit of blue poking out of her shirt and felt her cheeks warm. “I’m uh,” she said, moving to adjust her glasses and realizing that they weren’t there. “I promised Lena that we’d talk tonight?” It wasn’t a question, but for some reason it came out like one. 

She’d been avoiding it for so long the idea of actually confronting Lena about the truth seemed like a fever dream and she had no inkling in the slightest to how it would turn out. She wanted, so badly, for Lena to understand. She wanted Lena to have known all this time and been patient and kind with Kara until she was comfortable enough to tell her herself. She wanted Lena to forgive her. But Lena didn’t know. She was furious with Supergirl more often than she wasn’t and for every scorn throw her way as Kara Zor-El, she got twice as much endearment as Kara Danvers. The polarization was driving her mad. It made each day harder and it was at the point that Kara truly felt as if coming clean meant losing Lena forever. 

“I don’t know,” Kara said, shaking her head. “I’m just—” 

“Nervous?” Alex finished. “Don’t be. Kara, Lena adores you. If she’s willing to let you explain, then she’s going to be willing to understand.” 

Kara bobbed her head like a child being scolded. She knew what Alex was saying, but it felt impossible to believe. 

Alex got up, marched across the room and grabbed her shoulders; squeezing her in that way she had that always reminded her how lucky she was to have her. “And forgive,” she reminded. “Kara, you’ve done so much good. And even when you and Lena butt heads you still believe in her and she still believes in you.” 

Again, Kara bobbed her head, this time more confidently than she had before. 

“But,” Alex said stepping away and grabbing her beer. “Don’t do it as Supergirl.” 

* * *

Kara Danvers landed on the balcony of Lena’s apartment some time after midnight. The entire apartment was dark; the only light coming from the hall outside of the guest room where Kara could see the door was cracked open for the light to bleed through for Val-Zod. 

She smiled at the small act, but faded just as fast as it had come. 

Kara walked up to the glass, her fingers pressing against the window pane. She didn’t need her eyes to focus through the dark, she could as clear day. On the counter, standing upright for her see was a Children's book, her own handwriting scrawled across the back saying, _ “Supergirl is strong, but Lena is stronger. Someday, you’ll be strong, _ _ too. _ _ ” _

But there was something else. A sticky note with Lena’s handwriting that read two words: “It’s Kara.” 


	4. Chapter 4

Things were spiraling out of control. 

Physically speaking, Kara was great. She was in peak condition – as always – and still absorbed sunlight better than a plant in photosynthesis. But mentally and emotionally? Kara was dead inside. 

It had been more than a week since she last saw Lena. More than a week since promised to tell her the truth only to find out Lena had figured it out on her own, more than a week since she pulled the plug on their friendship and more than a week since she disappeared from the lives of their shared friends all together. And since then, the only thing on Kara’s mind was Lena. 

She woke up thinking about Lena, went to work thinking about Lena, wrote her articles thinking about Lena, she ate, and she slept and she saved the city all with Lena on her mind. She replayed the months and years in her head, thinking about all the times she could have told her the truth, all the times she hurt Lena because she was too afraid to tell her the truth. 

She was polarized by Lena. Torn into pieces and struggling to put herself together again. It all started when she chose not to trust her two years ago when they were working to stop Reign; when Kara chose not to trust Lena and Lena chose not to trust Supergirl. But that was only one blip in a relationship riddled with strain; almost all of which Kara was coming to realize was her own doing. She chose to not to trust Lena. She chose to hide the truth from Lena. She chose to accept love as Kara and keep that love no matter the cost because, in the end, she couldn’t stand to face the chance that she could lose Lena forever. She couldn’t bear to face the chance that this very reality might come to pass. 

It was selfish. It was wrong, and Kara was drowning in the consequences. So, to cope, she kept herself busy. 

She had somehow managed to win the shift bid for three six-hour days consisting of Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. This effectively gave her four fully dedicated days to her life as Supergirl; of which the DEO eagerly soaked up every available second. So, when she wasn’t writing articles focused on California politics and the upcoming elections (and _ not _ about Supergirl as per the new article regulations), she was chasing down terrorists, xenophobes, and overly armed hate groups for the DEO. And when she was wasn’t at CatCo, hitting the streets as Kara Danvers or making the streets safer as Supergirl, she was at the DEO with Alex where things only managed to get more hectic and out of control. 

But even then, with all of that, Kara could handle it. Alex however... 

For the DEO, it seemed as if every hour of every day posed new problems to tackle, new angles to approach. When Alex wasn’t running around in the field, she was drowning in a sea of paperwork or hunched over a slide in the lab. And when, or more specifically _ if _ she was found anywhere else, it was in a debrief with her superiors from the Pentagon. 

Every morning when Kara flew in she heard Alex’s offhand, “I swear, every time we solve a problem, two more pop up to take its place,” and “The Children of Liberty should just start calling themselves Hydra at this rate.” Something of which Kara was beginning to agree with. She may have been able to handle it, she may have even enjoyed the distractions, but that didn’t mean Alex could, and the physical demands of work with no end in sight were beginning to take a toll her. 

Both Kara and her sister were exhausted, but it showed a hundred times more on Alex than it did on Kara. And where Kara only came in to help in an emergency, Alex was up to her eyeballs in government responsibility and national damage control. She was always on her phone with some agent or another, stitching up a wound, analyzing data with brainy, making course altering decisions at the drop of a hat that had astronomical long-term effects, and none of that involved her paperwork or the fieldwork she refused to stop doing. 

She had gotten so swamped that the walls of her office had become an immersive dedication to their most important missions: the remains of the Children of Liberty, of which Alex had renamed as ‘Hydra’ on the northern wall in a fit of rage, the virus they were monitoring and its potential exposure to the earth labeled as ‘We Might be Fucked’ on the southern and eastern walls, and “Val-Zod’, now with the addition of “and Lena” labeling the wall on the west. Each wall contained a spiderweb of information that Alex had collected since their initial assignment, red Xs lining through lost leads and solved problems. Sometimes Kara would find her staring at them, desperate for answers and long-term solutions. Other times, she’d find Alex asleep at her desk. 

What Kara couldn’t handle right now, was the video updates Lena had started sending four days ago on Alex’s computer that threatened to compromise her whole, ‘stay too busy to think’ plan. 

It came as no surprise to anyone that, despite the fallout, Lena was the pinnacle of professionalism. She had this determination about her when it came to her relationship with the DEO, that not even Kara’s dedication could match. For the first few days, Lena sent painstakingly detailed text documents on her findings and desired course of studies, but after four days those text documents turned into access to her personal lab’s security feed and daily video logs. 

Each time Kara saw a lab coat clad Lena on her sister’s computer, she felt years get torn away from her life expectancy. And the problems that Kara faced weren’t just the sight of Lena in and of itself; it was the fact that the forests in here were burning. 

“Visual log zero-zero-four dot nine-twenty-two,” Lena’s voice echoed from Alex’s computer. “Comparative results between the current subject and previously acquired data from former subject, Samantha Arias, henceforth referred to by their subject number A-three-one-four-seven, and collected sample data from Lex Luthor's research on Red Daughter, subject number G-two-nine-five-six, suggests incompatible blood types despite nearly identical DNA framework between three subjects with known origin variations.” 

Alex had watched this particular log at least four times now, a crinkle having permanently pressed itself into her forehead as she attempted to dissect the video to the point of obliterating it altogether. 

This was the second time that Kara had been asked to watch it. 

In the footage, Lena’s hair was pulled back into a sleek, high ponytail and a pristine white lab coat. Under that, she wore a burgundy suit that matched her lipstick over a vest and a black button-down collared shirt. Behind her, Val was sitting on a table smacking something that looked like putty between his hands and an array of toys scattered around him. 

Lena continued. “Preliminary testing against standard synthetic green Krpyonite proved ineffective on the subject while bloodwork from the other two subjects showed an almost visceral reaction at the molecular level as soon as the mineral is introduced into the room.” As she went on to explain the molecular response of kryptonite against Red Daughter and Sam’s blood, Val climbed down from the table and ran over Lena. 

Val climbed down from the table and ran over Lena. He tugged on her jacket, disrupting her explanation and said, “I’m bored.” 

Kara watched for the second time, with her lip tangled between her teeth, as Lena swiveled in her chair to look Val in the eyes, pick him and set him in her lap. 

Alex paused the video and crossed her arms. “I have no idea how she’s transporting him from her apartment to L-Corp without dealing with a complete meltdown, but the woman deserves an award for figuring it out.” 

Kara swallowed and bobbed her head. 

“Anyway,” Alex said, unpausing the video and resuming their re-watch. 

The video cut forward after Val was initially seated in Lena’s lap. He now he was again playing with the putty-like substance, this time over the table while using Lena’s lap as his booster seat. Lena had one arm wrapped around the boy’s middle and the other had her knuckles pressed against her cheek. That hand fell, grabbed a pen, and then she continued. 

“Lack of definitive results warrant additional testing with other variations of synthetic kryptonite. All known Kryptonite variations at this point in time include: green, red, blue, black and anti.” 

“Since when did Lena learn how to synthesize so many forms of Kryptonite?” Alex asked, this time not pausing the video. 

“Since she stopped trusting me,” Kara said. It was the whole reason they butt heads in the first place. Lena made kryptonite; lots of it. “I don’t like the idea of her exposing Val that stuff.” 

“She never does,” Alex said. She closed the video and pulled up the camera logs. “She sends twenty-four-hour footage feeds of every inch of her lab. The only thing getting exposed to Kryptonite are blood slides.” 

Kara pouted. 

“See for yourself,” Alex said, rising from her chair to offer it to Kara. 

“No, Alex,” she said, worried about her sister and how tired she’s been. “I believe you. Lena would never do that. I’m just... I don’t know. Worried about nothing, I guess.” 

Alex sat back down. “Lena still hasn’t responded to any of your messages?” She said opening one of the files that privately connected the DEO to a live feed of Lena’s lab. 

Kara shook her head. “No.” 

“Kara—” 

“It’s fine.” 

Only, it wasn’t fine. Kara just didn’t have the energy to deal with it anymore. 

On the screen, Lena was hunched over a microscope, writing diligently with one hand without even bothering to look at where she was writing as she scratched out notes and Val in the corner diligently creating color-coded stacks of large Legos. After a beat, Kara, and Alex watching Lena work, she rolled away from the microscope and stretched. 

“See?” Alex said. “Completely transparent.” 

“That’s great, Alex, but what’s your point?” 

Alex swiveled in her own char. “It means I’ve seen her, and you’ve definitely been on her mind, Kara. A lot.” 

Kara closed her eyes and tipped her head from one shoulder to the other, her arms tangling across her chest. “That doesn’t mean anything, Alex,” She decided. 

As per usual, Alex felt no qualms about expressing her disagreement. “It means _everything. _Trust me. Lena may be angry, but that doesn’t mean she won’t forgive you. She just needs time.” 

Kara really hoped Alex was right. 

“And you just need the right excuse.” 

“Excuse for what?” Kara asked though she worried she might know the answer. 

“To talk to Lena.” Alex rolled across the office and slapped her hand on the wall she dedicated to Val. “She might not like it right now, but she needs you, Kara.” 

Kara huffed, feeling herself growing defensive. She knew Alex would never say or do anything to upset her, but the loss of Lena was a sore subject that she wasn’t ready to breech. Not even with Alex. 

Her sister didn’t understand what Lena meant to her or how the strange duality of her relationship had affected her. To watch, to feel, to be both the subject of Lena’s adoration and her scorn. To see the look on her eyes change from soft and deep to harsh and unyielding – all because of a symbol on her chest or frames on her face – it was staggering. Alex could never understand how that felt. 

She was trusted, and yet she was not. Loved, and yet hated. Respected and yet rivaled. Loved and yet… 

Alex rolled back across the room, her chair spinning in a slow arc as she reached for her desk. “And you might not like it, but I need the two of you to figure your shit out so I can ask Lena to examine this virus strain.” 

Kara hesitated, her eyes finding a stack of ignored paperwork on Alex’s desk. “I don’t know if we can,” she admitted. “Lena had made it pretty clear that she doesn’t want that and the least I can do after all of this is honor her wishes.” 

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Alex proclaimed, earning her a quizzical look from Kara. “Look, I want you and Lena to kiss and make up as much as you do—” 

“I don’t want to kiss and make up.” 

Alex raised an eyebrow. 

“I just… I want forgiveness. ” 

“Okay. So, the point is still exactly the same. You want Lena to forgive you? You have to make it happen. And I know how to do it.” 

* * *

Lena blew out a breath as she stretched her arms over her head and cracked her neck. It felt good to be back in the office again, but her body was already mad at her for the extensive period of time dedicated to staring down a microscope. But research and scientific discoveries had always been the love of her life; the driving force behind her every goal and every action. Having some semblance of that life back after a week of impromptu parenting and months of fretting over Kara was without a doubt the best feeling in the world. 

At first, she was worried about being able to get anything done, but Lena soon realized she was more than prepared to handle anything the world felt it should throw in her direction. Traumatized Kryptonian children were no exception. 

As it turned out, Lena’s insistence to provide the best work environment in the world for the women she employed ended up being her saving grace. She may never have considered herself the type to have children, but she did have a dedicated daycare in her building and by extension, several excellent candidates for a personal nanny at her disposal. She hadn’t chosen one yet, but she didn’t have to explain herself when she required one of her daycare employees to report to her home in the morning to watch a child that was staying with her instead of L-Corp. 

The real breakthrough came when Lena learned that Val didn’t in fact have super skin. At least for now. She had reason to believe it was more durable than a human, but a needle still had the capability to puncture through the organ and into fatty tissue and muscle; all that over preparation and use of Kryptonite on the night they met for nothing. Still, it made things easier moving forward. 

She checked her watch, documenting the time on her notes and then pushed away from the table. As much as she could melt away in her research, she had too much on her plate to spend all of her time in her lab. She grabbed the small stone of Kryptonite she kept along the far side of the microscope (one of the only blind spots in her camera feed to the DEO, and slid the stone back into its compartment under the face of her watch. 

The concept of expertly crafted blind spots wasn’t something she considered until she decidedly removed Kara from her life. Not that she was doing anything wrong, Val was completely immune to the effects of Kryptonite from this universe and she had sent concrete evidence to support this, but Kara had displayed an innate fear of Lena even having the ability and the means to produce the mineral. To give Kara a weapon against her such as having Kryptonite not only in her possession but within a possible affection radius of Val-Zod was only asking for trouble she didn’t want to deal with. So, she set her lab up with ninety-nine percent transparency, making sure that the blind spots were cleverly placed by required machinery and tech so as not to raise any red flags. 

With the Kryptonite put away, Lena spun around in her chair. The biggest change to her workspace was the corner dedicated to keeping Val occupied for as long as possible. For the most part, the corner was an immensely effective tool, albeit an occasionally loud one. But he rarely ventured out of the house, more specifically his bedroom, unless Lena either forced the matter, tricked him with her superior mind, or bribed him with Crab Rangoons and cupcakes. 

He liked the color red because it “tasted the best”, hated yellow because it “tasted gross”, and often asked Lena if he would fall I to the sky whenever he saw it through the windows. These were all things that Lena initially discarded as useless information, but as the days went on she came to realize that these small questions, observations, and preferences were key to the boy’s personal development, which was a necessary component of her overall goal to get Val ready for a real foster family. 

Most days, Val was at home being watched by one of her daycare employees who had a master's in early childhood development and a second master's in early childhood special education. Lena was no expert on children, and after coming to the conclusion that the worst thing that could happen to anyone around Val was him deciding to use food as finger paint and cry when he saw what lie on the other side of the drapes, Lena made the decision to bring in real experts. Both for Val’s and her own benefit. 

Her own upbringing was far from good parenting according to standards at the time, and Lena knew enough about the progression of scientific studies and parenting beliefs to know that even if they were, she’d still know nothing about today’s world. An educated, experienced professional would not only bring out the best in Val and maximize his potential for growth, but it also gave Lena more time to work. 

But today she had brought him with her. After an hour of attempted bribery, methodically memorized trust exercises put to the test, and a bit of blindfold and carry, she had managed to get him in the building with only a single meltdown that he quickly forgot when he saw the bucket of Legos she had in store for him. She considered that a win. 

There was a knock on the door and Lena spun around to meet it as Kara passed through. She wore a striped button-down shirt tucked into olive green slacks, a thin brown belt that matched both her shoes and the frames of her glasses, and her hair was pulled into tight bun on the top of her head. It was typical, signature Kara by every definition. 

When she had first met Kara, she was slightly put of by the reservation in Kara’s attire. So meek and mild, as if she were purposefully trying to dim the lights from her own brightness. It hurt Lena to see it. Especially when Lena could see right away that Kara was one of the brightest women she had ever encountered. Today, however, the outfit matched the energy that sluggishly radiated off her like a foul stench. 

When Alex had called her last night, it took everything Lena had to answer it. She wanted to write them all off forever, move herself away from the emotional handicap of friends and loved ones; remove weakness from herself before anyone else could use it against her. Alex, being Kara’s sister, was someone Lena intended to never speak to again. But Alex was the director of the DEO; the organization that Lena had allied herself with – depended on – in hopes of rebuilding the brand that was the Luthor name. 

Alex told her she would be sending Kara over for bloodwork and, as much as Lena wanted to protest, Alex had too many logical arguments on her side for Lena to be able to refuse and keep her integrity as a scientist interact. She could never let personal feelings interfere with science, and Alex, a scientist herself, knew it... exploited it. 

“Kara.” Lena felt her lip curling with disgust as Kara’s name passed her lips. “Let’s get this over with.” 

Lena gestured to an exam chair and Kara took a seat while she walked across the lab to a double biometric locking safe. It captured her fingerprint, and then her eyes and unlocked with a hiss and a click. She turned back to Kara whose fingers were bunched into tight little balls against the fabric on her thighs, head looking down and her eyes forlorn. “I’m going to open this now,” she warned. “Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?” 

Kara, chewing on her lower lip, looked up at Lena and gave a firm nod. 

“I trust you.” 

Lena turned back to the safe, cranked the handle, and pulled it open. 

The effects on Kara came with her first breath. Her veins blistered out against pale skin, glowing a vibrant green. Her eyes dulled, pupils blowing as her body visibly shook against the sudden onslaught against her body. She gripped the fabrics of her clothes tighter, but her grip was looser and weak. Her lips began to chap and blue and her breath sounded ragged and throaty. 

The sight made Lena’s stomach curdle. 

Lena grabbed one of the Kryptonite needles, a regular syringe needle dipped in an oil solution containing green Kryptonite dust that she had originally concocted for Sam, and shut the safe. Kara wasn’t literally green anymore, but she still looked like a woman sick with the flu and determined to tell you she wasn’t. 

Lena opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again and swallowed back stones when she realized the words she wanted to ask were, “are you okay”. 

She shook her head, grabbed her supplies and sat down next to Kara. 

Kara stretched out her arm, offering a veiny arm to Lena. 

I should warn you,” Lena said. “Putting trace amounts like this in your bloodstream has the possibility of leaving you with a mild to moderate illness for a few days.” 

Kara nodded and then said again, “I trust you, Lena.” 

Lena felt a twinge in her throat, ignored it, and put herself to work. She pressed her fingers against Kara’s arm, searching gingerly for the most supple vein and tied the rubber strap around her. “Make a fist for me,” she said pressing down on the vein again to verify. 

Lena took a breath, noted Kara was holding hers and pushed the needle into her arm. 

“You can relax now,” Lena said as the first vial began to fill. 

Val approached them as the Lena switched the first vial with the second. “One more after this,” she told Kara in a voice meant for Val. 

“That’s a ouchie,” he declared, pointing resolutely at the needle in Kara’s arm. He turned to her, put his hands on her knees and blabbered something Lena didn’t understand that cause a very sick looking Kara to perk up at. 

Lena ignored it, used to the occasional otherworldly nonsense and switched to the last vial. 

“He says you’ll make it better,” Kara told her, smiling something soft and bordering on broken before looking to Val and mumbling something just as strange and foreign back to him. 

Lena hummed and removed the last blood vial. She grabbed a cotton ball and dipped in a liquid substance. “Anti-Kryptonite solution,” she explained pressing the cotton ball against her skin and extracting the needle. 

“Anti Kryptonite?” Kara asked. 

“Itchy,” Val said. 

“It’s something Lex created. It’s meant to be lethal to non-superpowered Kryptonians such as the ones still in Argo city. But for you, it obliterates traces Kryptonite and will stop the bleeding.” Lena looked at Val. “It gives him a skin rash.” 

With three vials for work, Lena sighed with contentment and looked at Kara who was still visibly woozy. She bit down on her cheeks, her eyes moving from Kara to Val. He was babbling at her in a mixture of English and Kryptonese about what Lena could only assume was about his Legos. He pointed at the stacks, announcing his colors loudly before running across the room and grabbing two: one of red and one of blue. The red stack was significantly taller than the Blue, but the blue was wider and he almost couldn’t fit his hands around his blocky creation. 

He set both in her lap and Kara responded with her best smile; a sun struggling to shine behind the clouds. “You made these?” she asked, her voice still weak. 

“Yeah!” Val hyped. 

Kara observed the block stacks with intense sincerity. She smiled at Val, handing the red stack back, and then the blue after the first was settled in his arms. “Very cool,” she told him before adding something Lena didn’t understand. 

Val smiled back at her and ran across the lab again. 

Lena bit down on her cheeks and ignored the exchange almost as much as she ignored the twinge in her chest at the sight of Val and Kara conversing in the language of Krypton. “You should be careful about moving around for a while. I can call Alex to come pick you up if you’d like,” she offered, burying her eyes in her anything that wasn’t Kara. “Probably won’t be safe to fly for a few hours at least.” 

From the corner of her eye, Lena watched as Lara squeezed her hands into fists, released the tension and squeezed them closed again. She cracked her neck, tilting it from the left to the right and rubbed her hand against her nape. The color was returning to her now, her skin finding that alluring golden glow that made Lena’s breath hitch in her throat. 

“Actually, if you don’t mind,” Kara said as she tested her weight on her feet. “I think if you don’t mind waiting for about five minutes, I should be good to—” 

* * *

When Kara opened her eyes again, she was laying on the couch in Lena’s office. 

Lena was hard at work at her desk, typing furiously while arguing on the phone. There was a small stack of papers to her right, a coffee mug to her left, and a series of sticky notes attached to the rims of her dual monitors. It was the least put together Kara had ever seen Lena; organized by standards compared to Alex but completely frantic and disheveled by the standard of prevision and excellence that was Lena Luthor. 

Across the office Val was napping on the floor, using the back cushions of the couch as a personal bed and a hoodie as a blanket. But what Kara found most impressive wasn’t his ability to fall into a dead sleep on a couch cushion, it was his ability to sleep soundly as Lena’s fingers clacked against her keyboard with fiery aggression that matched the raised volume of her voice on the phone. 

“I’ve got to go,” Lena said into the phone. “We’ll resume this tomorrow.” 

Lena placed the receiver down and laced her fingers together atop the desk. “Look who’s finally awake,” she smiled. It was soft, barely more than twitch of the corners of her lips, but it was the most Kara had received from Lena in more than a week and it warmed her so deeply that she could feel her cheeks flush as she smiled back. Lena corrected her emotions at this, her expression going blank again and Kara’s heart fall into the pit of her stomach. 

Kara cleared her throat and pushed herself into a sitting position. “What happened?” she asked. 

“You passed out. I told you that not to be so reckless,” Lena scolded. “There was Kryptonite in your _ bloodstream, Kara _. What were you thinking?” 

Kara rubbed the heel of her hand against her head. “I felt better,” she tried. “I thought I would be okay.” 

“You’re too reckless,” Lena muttered. “Accelerating your heartrate too quickly like that could have killed you.” 

“I’m sorry.” Kara squeezed her fingers into fists and when Lena didn’t respond, she said, “I’m sorry for everything.” 

Lena met her gaze with a sardonic expression. 

“When Lex,” she tried, pausing when it felt wrong and Lena’s face twisted from curious to displeased. 

Kara shook her head and changed course. “You know what? No. This isn’t about Lex, it’s about me.” 

Lena’s jaw fell slack. Kara ignored it. 

“I used Lex and Lillian as excuses to not tell you that I was Supergirl. I threw that in your face, knowing it would hurt you to be compared that way because I wasn't ready for you to look at me, at Kara Danvers, the way you looked at Supergirl.” Kara took a shaky breath, her head still slightly dizzy and her words coming through as nervous trembles. “And then every time I tried to tell you, I couldn’t. I convinced myself that it was to keep you safe, but it wasn’t. It was because I didn’t deserve you and I was afraid that if you knew the truth, you’d realize that and I’d lose you forever. So, I thought ‘If I can just get Lena to trust Supergirl the way she trusts Kara. Then I can I tell her.’ I convinced myself of every reason I could come up with not tell you when I should have told you years ago, and I’m sorry.” 

For a long while, neither of them said anything. The silence building like gas in a tank, one small spark away from disaster. 

Too afraid to watch Lena process the information, Kara busied herself with the hem of her sleeves. Her fingers were trembling, her eyes were burning and she wanted to blame it on the kryptonite but she knew that would be a like. This feeling was from the anxiety of finally telling Lena the truth; the uncomfortable position of putting herself out, really and truly putting herself out there, for the first time. Time seemed to stop working, her shaking breath filling the dead space between them as Lena rested her chin on her fingers and stared ferocious welts into Kara as she thought about what Kara had said. 

Finally, Lena asked, “Is this what you were going to tell me last week?” 

Kara nodded, sniffling and fighting the tears that stung her eyes. “More or less.” 

“That’s bullshit,” Lena decided. “The whole reason I stayed in National City is because of you. My plan was to establish a new main office and then spend the next three years visiting all the current functional facilities and getting them all up to speed through first-hand training and management. I was only supposed to be here for a few months.” 

Kara forced herself to look at Lena, her vision blurring and begging for release. 

“You were my best friend. I trusted you more than anyone else in the world.” 

Kara swallowed back Lena’s words. _ You were her best friend, _she thought, repeating it again. 

“I would have done anything for you,” Lena said. “And there aren’t many people I’m willing to do that for. I opened myself up to you because you made me feel safe, respected. Dammit, Kara, you made me feel like I deserved a chance to make a name for myself outside of my family and I—” 

Lena pursed her lips and fixed her hair. “Apparently you never felt the same way.” 

“Lena,” Kara said again. It the only word other than ‘sorry’ that she was capable of forming. 

Val rolled off the couch cushion, his head slamming against the floor with a loud thump. Shocked, the boy jerked awake, pained and groggy, a mixture of pained wails and confused sobs bubbling past wet lips as his hands reached to hold the sore spot on his head. 

Kara summoned all her might to clear her head and pushed herself from the couch. She hardly got to her feet when Lena threw an angry finger at her while rising from her chair herself. “What did I just say?” she reminded with a harsh tone that melted the instant she swiveled around her desk to where Val was sleeping. 

She watched Lena dote over the boy, running her fingers over his head and pulling a cloth handkerchief seemingly out of nowhere to clean the boy’s face. She whispered soft words and let him hug her until his tears stopped falling, only pulling away to clean his face again so that her clothing remained clean enough for her own professional standards. 

Val sniffled and rubbed at his nose and eyes, but was smiling again after a moment and seeing the boy happy brought a warmth about Kara that she hadn’t felt since she was on Krypton meeting her cousin for the first time. 

“You’re really good with him,” Kara noted, smiling again herself. 

Lena hummed. “Surprised?” 

“After seeing you work some magic at the DEO? Not at all.” Kara laughed and she noticed that Lena was smiling too. “I was surprised that Alex called you at first; you never seemed like the type to want kids. But I’m really glad she did.” 

Lena paused for a moment and then resumed organizing her desk. She was quiet for a moment, taking the time to put things in back in their respective places before grabbing a few papers, her jacket, and her purse. She walked back around the desk, reading herself to leave and said. “I appreciate your honestly, Kara. I really do. But it doesn’t fix what you’ve broken. You can’t just change the subject and expect everything to go back to the way it was.” 

Kara nodded, solemn and hollow and accepting defeat from a battle she was too afraid to fight for until it was long too late. The words resonated through Kara like an amplifier. It d_ oesn’t fix what you’ve broken. _

“But,” Lena said as she reached for Val and took his hand. “Just because our personal relationship is tarnished doesn’t mean we have to do the same with our professional one.” 

“Tarnished doesn’t mean ruined,” Kara said, her tone hopeful. In truth, she didn’t care about their professional relationship. She never did. “How do I fix this?” 

Lena shook her head. “I don’t know if you can,” she confessed. 

“But if I wanted to try?” 

Kara followed Lena’s gaze as it searched the room. She watching Val again, one arm holding the other close, teeth chewing on her cheeks. She took a breath and closed her eyes, squeezing them shut before opening them again and looking at Kara. “I suppose that would be alright.” 


	5. Chapter 5

The story of Lex Luthor was a modern-day Shakespearian tragedy. 

Lena, however, truly believed that she deserved to submit her own story to the board of tragic tales for review. Especially now. 

Somewhere between here and there, between broken hearts and broken dreams, she ended up here: with Kara. 

Lena’s once beautiful sunlit home now made her feel trapped in the belly of a beast made from tech and stone. She kept the blinds drawn now. Hiding the glass walls gave Val-Zod the comfort and confidence he needed to traverse her home unhindered by fear and trauma. She wouldn’t have cared, she wanted to let the boy come face to face with his fears and force him to confront it, but she didn’t have the time or the patience to deal with it. It was easier to give up the beauty of her home, to give up the warming kiss of sun on her neck with her early morning coffee, than it was to deal with a child’s demon. 

But… then there was Kara, the woman who embodied her own demons, in her home… after everything, she had done. And maybe, Lena thought, she wasn’t strong enough to overcome anything. 

It was hard enough living in Supergirl’s city given her family’s reputation and history, and making the deliberate decision to move her company from one Super’s home to another was far from a welcomed change when it came to the board. But none of that compared to the trials the universe seemed intent on putting in her path. That no matter what Lena did or what challenges she overcame, the universe found a way to make her life harder. 

“I’m going to put this on record, Kara: I don’t approve.” 

Kara twisted her head, looking at Lena with her confused eyes and dimpled forehead, loose hair hanging like streams of liquid gold that made her crystal eyes shine even brighter behind the rim of her glasses. She was hovering a solid three feet off the ground, lounging belly up with Val planted on her stomach; his feet dangling around either side of her as she taught him the Cat’s Cradle string game with a shoelace she had tied into a knot. 

Lena ground her teeth at the sight. Everything she had been given in Kara those years ago felt like a fever dream turned nightmare. She wouldn’t say it was darkness, Kara was impossible of being anything less than the sun itself. 

But Kara – much like the sun – burned. 

“Oh, come on, Lena,” Kara pleaded. “I’ve got him. No one’s going to get hurt. Promise.” 

Lena didn’t know how to explain to Kara that it wasn’t the fact that Val was hoisted several feet off the ground that bothered her, it was Kara ignoring the fact that Lena hated her powers. It was the fact that her mindless, cheerful hovering poured salt on a wound Lena refused to bandage. 

“I don’t care,” Lena said. 

Kara promptly nodded and set herself upright. Her toes made contact with the ground and soon after Val followed suit with an accompanied whine of protest. 

Lena frowned. “Enough,” she instructed. 

Val sniffled, matching Lena’s scowl with one of his own, but his challenge was short lived. He relaxed after a moment, the sharpness of his features brushing smooth once again when he realized the futility of his protest. “Fine.” 

The corners of Lena’s lips twitched. “Good,” she said. 

“He listens to you,” Kara observed as she pressed the wrinkles out of her cardigan with the heels of her hands. “He must really trust you.” 

Lena shook her head. “Children respond to structure. That’s all.” 

Kara huffed a small, surprised laugh. “You’re a natural with kids, Lena. There’s nothing wrong with that.” 

Lena stiffened and busied herself with the nearest possible anything; in this case a stack of disorganized research documents in need of meticulous straightening. Children never were, at any point, a part of her plan. She didn’t at all care to develop skills that were useful towards raising children, and she didn’t care much about being in the presence of her colleague's children either. “I’m not,” she said, pausing and wincing at the thought of the words about to come forth from her lips “Good with kids.” 

When she dated James, children were never even a blip on their radar. James was too busy gallivanting around as Guardian and Lena was obsessed with proving Supergirl wrong. Neither of them had time to even think about children. Her relationship before that was a college girlfriend that was more like a reoccurring fling than a serious relationship. But, really, all of her relationships felt that way, even James at times. It was because Lena never planned her life around another person. She considered herself first, last, and always. There was no room for someone else; partner or child. 

And yet... 

A coy smile danced across Kara’s features as she tucked a lock of gold behind her ear. 

Lena bit down hard against the skin of her cheeks. Lex’s story may be a tragedy, but hers? Hers was goddamn cataclysmic. Who was she fooling this time anyway? Herself? Kara? 

Val trotted over and set a plastic tiger in Lena’s lap. He growled, imitating the beast and said, “This one is for you. Okay?” 

Lena looked down at the plastic animal. She had been painfully embarrassed when her hired childcare expert expressed concern about Val-Zod’s general lack of knowledge about the world around him and Lena, not one to allow herself to become a catalyst in bad behaviors, promptly purchased a plastic bucket of zoo animals that since became a fast favorite. 

Val dashed across the room and pressed a panda into Kara’s hands. 

“Is this one mine?” Kara asked 

Val-Zod looked at the toy, his head tilting to one side. “No,” he said, and he snatched the panda and replaced it with a lion. Then, he pointed at Lena without breaking contact with Kara and said, “Like hers.” 

Kara looked up to Lena. “Give yourself some credit,” she said in earnest. “I’ve heard enough about how you were raised to know that everything you do with Val—” 

“Is a deliberate overcorrection,” Lena snapped. 

Lena’s fingers curled around the plastic toy. She watched as Val flew the panda like a jet through the room, making every noise his nanny had taught him from the caw of birds to the whistle of trains. 

“I told you this wasn’t permeant.” Lena set down the stack of documents, crossed one leg over the other. “I have no interest in children. But that doesn’t mean that I will treat one any less than they deserve while in the presence of one.” 

Kara pursed her lips and looked away, her gaze catching Val as he wrapped around the edge of the couch and made a beeline for her kitchen island, little flying panda in his hands. 

There were certain actions, certain angles and movements that Kara made that were explicitly Supergirl; the brushes of confidence in the way she walked or the sureness in her voice when she spoke. Things that made Lena’s anger swell in her chest. But then there was this: soft eyes and a lip tangled between teeth… 

“I know it’s only temporary,” Kara said after a while. “But that doesn’t make you any less good with him. Or good for him. You know, I heard Bruce Wayne was a terrible guardian at first. He threw his money and his butler at the kid instead of taking the time to be with him himself. But you? You’re managing to do things that even Alex couldn’t do.” 

“Consider it my own perfectionism.” 

“I’m serious,” Kara said. “Look at him. This is the biggest room in your house and he’s running across the whole thing instead of hiding in your closet in tears. You can get him into the car, into L-Corp, your labs...” 

“Not without extreme difficulty,” Lena corrected. 

“But you can. Lena, when I first met him, he scream-cried until we put him in a cell.” 

“He’s afraid he’s going to fall into the sky.” 

“That’s exactly my point,” she exclaimed. “You know what he’s afraid of and you know how to work with it. None of us could figure it out.” 

Val ran back into the room, climbed onto the couch and across the cushions. He barreled into her, wrangling himself under her arm so he could take the tiger and swapped it with the Panda. “You take this one,” he announced. “I want that” 

Lena wanted to cringe thinking about the mess he might make, but she kept both herself and her home so aggressively spotless, she didn’t have to. She looked down at the boy as he wiggled away from her and settled in on couch cushion beside her. He had grown quite an exceptional rate when it came to overcoming his fears in her home. She had always assumed it was because the boy was young and the corrections were easy to implement into his routine. 

“Maybe I misread his growth,” Lena thought out loud. “I assumed it was the constant of a schedule that made him come so far.” 

“The constant is you,” Kara said. “Us Kryptonians... we’re just drawn to Luthors I guess.” 

Lena huffed a nervous laugh and straightened her posture. 

“If Lex were here, he’d have an aneurysm,” Kara said.

Kara didn’t wait for Lena to respond, choosing to change the subject with an excited “Movie time” announcement before either of them were forced to acknowledge the wedge driven between them. 

Feeding from her energy, Val bounced next to her and chanted back, “Movie time,” even as Lena remembered for certain he had no idea what a movie even was. 

“And,” Kara smiled. “It’s the greatest movie of all time,” 

Lena rolled her eyes. She didn’t think she could watch Kara’s favorite movie again. No matter how much of a classic it was, Lena could only handle so much of one thing. “The Wizard of Oz?” 

“Lilo and Stitch,” Kara said knowingly. 

“But that’s not your favorite movie,” she said without thinking. 

Kara shook her head. “No, but it was yours.” 

Lena felt her face flush. “How do you know that?” 

Kara shrugged. “Your mom told me once. She said you watched it so many times that the DVD started to skip.” 

“Why would she ever share information like that?” 

“She told me, well, she told Supergirl, lots of stuff about you. She does love you. Weirdly, enough to monologue.” 

Lilo and Stitch was more than just her favorite movie as a kid, it was the only movie. Lex had snuck it home for her when she was eight years old saying that he thought she might relate to it, but she had to be careful not to let their parents find out. Despite this, Lena was foolish enough to let herself become obsessed with it. “I’m sure she left out the part where she reprimanded me for using my free time to watch a movie instead of stimulating myself academically.” 

Kara popped the disk into a Blu-ray player and announced the necessary console commands to her smart home’s AI before looking at Lena again. “No,” she said as the film’s title screen loaded and then began. “she made it seem happier than that.” 

Lena drew her thumb across her knee, her nails digging into the bunches of fabric that gathered there. The very idea that Kara knew these small details of her childhood, aspects of her life Lena had never shared with anyone made her immensely uncomfortable. She wasn’t surprised that her mother knew Kara’s identity. In that vein, the only thing she was surprised about was her own inability to see that truth. But to know that her mother had conversations of semi intimacy over subjects pertaining to Lena’s childhood... she should be more than uncomfortable. She should be furious, at both Kara and her mother. 

But she wasn’t. 

For some reason, the anger Lena had towards Kara’s betrayal felt as if it had peaked. As if nothing she did or said could ever top the fact that she had kept her duology a secret from her for so many years. Everything else was trivial aftermath. Things that ultimately didn’t matter. But if the fact that Kara knew her favorite childhood movie was trivial and insignificant then what was this feeling – this discomfort – in the pit of her stomach? 

The next thing Kara did was leap across her living room like some sort of figure skater or gymnast with the grace and dexterity of a cat and the whole thing made Lena want to retch. Without her secret to weigh her down, Kara was literally defying gravity at every opportunity. 

She dug through a tote bag she had brought with her and pulled out a tin pan with a coat hanger handle the likes Lena had never seen before. She gave the device an excited shake and Val whirled around, scampering to his feet so he could see over the back of the couch at what Kara was doing. “Ever had popcorn before?” She asked him, a smile sneaking onto her expression despite her obvious best effort to remain coy. 

Val shook his head and grabbed Lena’s sleeve. “What’s that?” 

“I have no idea,” Lena admitted. 

Kara slumped into a pout. “You’ve never had Jiffy Pop?” 

“Why would I ever eat anything that comes out of a foil tin?” 

“For the joy of having the greatest popcorn experience on Earth, why else?” 

Kara pulled her glasses down the bridge of her nose and gave the tin a few solid shakes before it started swelling with popped kernels. 

Val was giggling excitedly beside her, shouting “Look, Lena, look,” as the tin pan swelled to the point of bursting before his eyes like some sort of magic trick. Lena reminded herself how lucky she was that the boy’s only notation towards the fact that he was not of this world (or this universe for the matter) was a strange blood type and slightly more resilient skin. The last thing she needed was holes melted in her walls because a child got excited overseeing the end result. 

Val and Kara demolished the popcorn within the first twenty minutes of the film. Kara appeared slightly bummed over having to share her snack with someone capable of eating the way she did but Val was so enthralled by the movie that without the distraction of food to keep him near the couch, he had started inching closer and closer to the television with each passing scene and Lena couldn’t help but smile when he jumped up and down with childish rage and anxiety when the plot began to thicken. 

It was interesting watching a movie she once related to as an adult. She longer felt connected to Lilo; the lost little girl whose parents had died, who struggled to fit in, whose only friends in the world was a doll she made herself and a sibling who acted more as a parent than a child. The memories were there, nostalgia pulling at her heartstrings in all the right places. But she didn’t feel the connection to the titular characters. Instead, she found herself drawn to Nani, and the entire film began to unfold in a new light her once obsessed child eyes could never have discovered. 

By the end, Val was almost directly under the screen, his neck tilted so that he was staring up at the television at what Lena could only assume was the world’s most awful angle. 

“What did you think?” Kara asked Val as the credits rolled. 

Val pointed at the screen; his face twisted in an angry scowl. “It’s over?” 

“Good thing this was your favorite movie as a kid,” Kara said in a sing-song voice. 

“Television One, shut down.” 

The screen blacked out at Lena’s command and Val stomped his foot, growling with rage; his eyes bloodshot and on the verge of leaking. 

“Does he nap?” Kara asked when Val burst into angry tears. 

Lena lifted a shoulder. “I’m not sure,” she admitted. “Although I had his nanny document his schedule.” She lifted her chin to command her smart system, but Kara shot to her feet and swooped the boy into her arms before she got the chance. 

“It’s okay,” she said as she started up the stairs with a tantrum throwing child in tow. “I’ll take him to bed. I’ve been wanting to tell him stories about Krypton anyway.” 

Aside from the addition of books, clothes, and toys, Lena’s guestroom remained largely unchanged since Val’s arrival. The sheets were a silky soft white, duvet a dark, sapphire blue. The drapes were still drawn, a pile of research journals still stacked on the floor near the in-wall bookshelf. The biggest change was the Robin symbol nightlight plugged into the wall near the door. 

Lena watched as Kara hoisted Val up and into the bed, making sure that he settled in the middle of the large mattress before tucking him in under the sheets. He was still crying – rubbing at his eyes with little fists and sniffling every few moments when he was desperate for air – but the angry wails were softer now as the exhaustion he had been fighting was beginning to win over. 

Lena leaned into the doorframe as Kara asked him something in their native tongue in the softest voice Lena had ever heard; hardly more than a whisper and a gentle as the fingers that ran through his spiraled curls. 

Val bobbed his head. 

Kara must have heard her because she switched then from Kryptonese to English and soothed Val with something she knew the two of them could relate to. She detailed a landscape; a garden filled with flowers overlooked the sunset of a red sun and the peaking eyes of moons. She talked about the way the stars twinkled and danced. She talked about Rao, the god of the sun, Yuda, the moon; Telle and Mordo and Lorra and all other the gods with names Lena had never heard before. She spoke of colors and their hues, the way the red sun refracted through Kryptonian glass. She talked about everything and anything, until Val’s eyes finally closed and he drifted off to sleep. 

* * *

Kara brushed her fingers through Val’s hair and then slipped off the side of the bed. 

“I’ve never heard you talk about Krypton like that before,” Lena said. The way she looked at her was deep, full of concern, and met with a twinge of apprehension in the tone of her voice. 

Kara couldn’t recall the last time Lena showed genuine emotion like that. For months she had the pinnacle of the Luthor reputation: cold, calculation, disconnected. And yet, here stood, leaning in the doorway of her guest bed with her brow crinkled and her red lips twisted into a frown. 

“It’s not that easy to talk about.” Kara paused. “I… don’t remember it like I used to.” 

Lena’s expression softened. “That’s what happens with age. Memories get shorter and less distinct. I used to remember every detail of my mother’s face as if I had just seen her earlier that day. Now I can only recognize her if I’m looking at a picture.” 

Kara pursed her lips. Lena never opened up about her mother. Not to Kara or Supergirl. At least, not like that. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Lena stepped out of the doorway, waving a hand at Kara’s words as she crossed over the threshold, closing the door behind her with a soft click. 

“Don’t be,” Lena said, guiding them down the hall. “My family’s tragedy has nothing to do with the memories of my mother.” 

_ Tragedy, _ Kara repeated in her head. “You really think that about your family?” 

“Well, we’re certainly not A Midsummer Night's Dream." Lena breathed a somber laugh. “O, beware, my lord, of jealousy; It is the green-ey'd monster, which doth mock the meat it feeds on." 

“Othello?” 

“I was thinking Lex, but yes, Othello.” 

It almost felt normal again, to be talking with Lena with such a light-hearted tone. The way she snickered at the thought of her family and smiled with her entire being. But the expression that used to linger just a few moments longer with Kara was now shorter and sharper than they had ever been with Supergirl, as if the memories were hovering over her. A dark cloud of salt ready to rain upon open wounds. 

“When I was young, Lex was the greatest mind in the world. Everything he did was front page news,” Lena said after a while. “And then along came a god.” 

“Superman,” Kara said. 

“We’re not so different from them, you know. My achievements come second to yours, no matter the feat. It drove Lex mad. Even when he worked with Superman, tried to befriend him, he was infantilized by his presence. Everything he did was scrutinized, chastised, or overlooked and Superman – no matter the damage and destruction – was always seen as a hero. So, my brother asked the question, “What would we do if a god turned his back on us? Who has a plan for that?” Sometimes I wonder, if not him... then who? My mother? Me?” 

Kara gripped the railing of the staircase, desperately trying not to crush it between her fingers. 

“Do you know what does make us different? What separates us from them?” 

She didn’t have an answer. 

“I chose to trust in Supergirl and I chose to trust in Kara Danvers. No matter what your intentions, you didn’t give me that same trust, no matter how many times I proved to have earned it. What makes us different is that it isn’t the Luthor who can’t be trusted, it’s the Super. And then, here I am, with the third Kryptonian living in my home, still trying to prove myself as if any of that matters.” 

If it weren’t for the fact that the wooden railing was splintering under her grip, Kara would have sworn she was hit by a Kryptonite bullet. She inhaled a sharp breath, feeling the disdain that radiated from Lena’s backside. 

Lena was right. In Clark and Lex’s case, it was Lex’s jealousy that led to them spiraling down the path of rivalry and conflict. But in the case of Lena, she had no jealousy to corrupt her. She only had the pain of betrayal. And that was entirely Kara’s doing. Kara had gone into their friendship knowing she was going to lie to her, while Lena had tried at every opportunity to build a foundation of trust and unity between her and the Krypton of National City. 

“So yes, Kara,” Lena said with conclusion. “I do think that about my family. One way or another, we all come to ruin.” 

Her body moved – not on command – but on instinct and adrenaline, her arms wrapping around Lena and pulling her into the tightest hug she could ever afford to give. She pressed her chin pressed against Lena’s shoulder, her breath trembling as she gripped her own forearms with the full extent of her strength. 

Lena’s body twitched with tension and Kara could hear the hitch in her breath. 

“I never meant for this to happen,” she whispered. “I never meant to hurt you like this.” 

She had apologized, and Lena had accepted it, but she never thought it was because of this. And all at once Lena’s hot and cold made sense. She hadn’t forgiven her at all. Allowing her ‘to try’ was Lena doing what Lena always did; whatever it took to prove to the world she was better than her brother. 

Kara deserved her coldness, but Lena didn’t deserve the torment that came with it. 

There was a moment of hope; the briefest of seconds where Lena’s body began to relax and her heartbeat started to regulate. A single, calming breath from the woman in her arms where Kara thought, _ maybe there’s still a chance. _

“I don’t want to us to end up like them,” Lena said. 

Kara nodded into Lena’s shoulder. “We won’t,” she promised. 

Kara's grip disintegrated around Lena and she stepped away, letting Lena rebuild the walls she had been protecting herself with for longer than Kara could fathom. Some of those walls were built because of her and Kara knew that it would take everything she had to tear them down someday. She could only hope that that day was sooner rather than later. 

Lena stiffened again, her jaw set and shoulders broad, not a hair out of place or a wrinkle in her suit. It was the way Lena felt most comfortable around her now, addressing them as a business partnership for the sake of the DEO and all the good they do for the world. Kara hated it; she hated every second that wasn’t the Lena Luthor she had come to know and love as Kara Danvers, but it wasn’t her place to demand that. It wasn’t even her place to ask. 

For now, all she had was a promise not to let what happened to them follow the same path as their families. And that, Kara decided, was enough for now. 

But Little feet soon padded down the hall and Kara turned to face the sound. Lena’s gaze followed suit and as soon as Val noticed them looking at him through the glass railing that separated the first floor from the second, he barreled down the stairs crying Lena’s name. 

“What happened?” Lena asked as she pushed past Kara to meet the boy at the bottom of the steps. 

Val, who's clothing was wrinkled and body already glistening with sweat despite the jarring shortness of his nap, reached out to Lena and wrapped his arms around her neck. He buried himself in her arms, sniffling dramatically as his grip tightened around her neck. 

Lena staggered backward, pulling Val up off the ground as she turned to Kara with desperate eyes. “Take him,” she gasped. “Please.” 

Kara pried Val’s fingers away from Lena and pulled him into her arms, turning him so that he could burrow against her instead. Immediately she felt tension around her neck, a strength no child should have been capable of reaching and Kara’s eyes grew wide at the horror that would have awaited Lena had she not been there to break his grip. 

“He’s getting stronger,” she said. “Since when?” 

Lena rubbed her neck and shrugged. “Since now,” she said. “At least, since I’ve noticed.” 

“Lena, if he’s developing powers then you’re not safe with him.” 

Lena frowned. “I’m more than capable of taking care of myself,” she argued. 

“What do we have that will stop him from screaming so loud he takes your whole building down?” 

“Do you really think he could do that?” 

Kara lifted a shoulder. “With this strength, he could shatter glass and crack the foundation if he wanted too.” 

Lena grit her teeth and folded her arms over her chest. “He’s not that strong,” she said with a tone that sounded uncharacteristically unsure of herself. “Not yet.” 

“He’s this strong and has minimal exposure to the sun. Imagine what could happen if you convinced him not to be afraid anymore?” 

“Then what do you suggest we do? You said yourself that there was no one else.” 

Val began to calm down and Kara felt his grip loosen around her neck. He rubbed at his eyes and looked back to Lena before hurling himself towards her, his arms stretched out for her to catch him. 

“We need to talk to Alex,” Kara said, easing Val back into Lena’s arms. 

Lena nodded and turned to Val, ignoring Kara’s suggestion. “You never told me what was wrong.” 

Val shook his head against Lena’s shoulder. 

“Guess he doesn’t want to talk about it,” Kara said. 

With her free hand, Lena pinched the bridge of her nose. “He never does,” she said. 

“I don’t remember seeing anything about night terrors in your research.” 

“If he won’t tell me, how do I know that they’re night terrors?” 

“Aren’t they?” 

Lena sighed. “Most likely, though children are known to cry over the transitional state between sleeping and waking up. But, if he isn’t willing to discuss it, I'm not going to force it.” 

Kara slumped with defeat and rocked her weight from one hip to the other. “Okay,” she agreed. “You’re respecting his privacy. I get that. But you have to tell Alex what’s happening. Night terrors and powers are not a good combination.” 

“You say that as if you have experience.” 

“I do,” Kara said. “And we need to talk to Alex.” 

* * *

Lena had waited until Val fell asleep again in her arms and carried him through her building and into her car. Kara had offered to fly them, but Lena argued that the risk of trauma should Val wake up was far too great a risk. 

“The car soothes him anyway,” she had said, and that was that. 

Kara had never gone to the DEO by car, and she could count on one hand the number of times she had met Alex at the facility, not in a cape. The whole thing was strange and awkward on top of being dangerous. Before, Lena could risk a complete meltdown. Maybe not her pride, but at least she would be alive. If Val was indeed getting stronger faster than he was getting over his fears, then Kara couldn’t help but worry for Lena’s safety. 

But Lena didn’t care about any of that, and while it didn’t make complete sense to Kara, she could see how. Lena has looked death in the eyes more than anyone Kara knew, at least as far as non-super powered, non-heavily armored mortals go. What was one kid who meant her no harm when – if given the time and resources – she could probably build something to protect herself? 

Sometimes Kara forgot just how strong humans were. 

Sometimes Kara forgot just how strong Lena was. 

The ride was awkward, silent, and bumpy. The roads were full of stops and potholes and the construction that never seemed to end. She realized most of these inconveniences were due to her, but she told herself an inconvenience was better than a funeral and kept her lips pursed. Despite all this, Lena was an excellent driver. She gracefully avoided every possible pothole, never slammed the brakes or slowed abruptly, and every few minutes Kara caught her eyes flashing up to her rear-view mirror. 

Lena had a white-knuckled grip around the steering wheel and her jaw was set firm and tense. Before, Lena rarely let stress get to her and when it did, she was a master of not letting it show. But Kara knew that the anger she felt towards her, the fears she had for their future, was still pressing down on her shoulder and fighting for control. The car was no place to bring up their problems... or the moment they shared moments earlier, but Kara couldn’t get the memory out of her head, that moment where everything felt real and whole again. 

Apparently, Lena couldn’t either. 

“About earlier,” she said with a hushed tone as she checked her mirrors. Maybe it was better this way; their eyes forward and not on each other. “Don’t mention it to your sister, okay?” 

Kara leaned her head against the window and looked into the side mirror. “Alright. I can do that.” 

Lena sighed and Kara noticed out of the corner of her eye that her grip on the steering wheel loosened. “Thank you,” she said. “I really don’t want our dirty laundry becoming the talk of the Super Friends.” 

“I know you’re using that ironically, but we actually do call ourselves that.” 

“That’s horrendous,” Lena said. “You need a better name.” 

“I like it. It’s better than Team Flash.” 

“That Flash guy calls his support “Team Flash”? That’s almost as bad as the Bat-Family.” 

“So, you don’t like Superman Family either, I take it?” 

“God no.” They shared a laugh. “I guess Super Friends is alright.” 

“Well, good,” Kara said. “Because you’re one of our most important members.” 

Lena smiled and pulled in to the DEO parking. 

They were stopped by a guard watching the gate, a think gangly man with long hair and a scruffy, patchy beard. “Identification, Ma’am?” 

Lena flashed her ID. 

“Need yours too Ma’am,” The guard said to Kara. 

“Oh,” she realized and passed over her own ID. “Sorry.” 

The guard looked them over and passed their IDs back. “You’re both clear,” he said. “Welcome to the Department of Extranormal Operations.” 

The gate opened and Lena drove to one of the allotted visitor parking spaces. She parked the car, sighed into her seat and looked back at Val. “He’s going to cry when I wake him,” she warned. “He always cries.” 

“Let me get him,” Kara insisted and bolted out from the front passenger door to beat Lena to the back seat. 

She opened the door and looked at the contraption of straps that bound Val-Zod to his car seat. Her jaw fell slack, head tilting one side. She didn’t see a button and was hesitant to simply pry the pieces apart (despite how easy that would be). Most of all, she wanted to untether the boy from the chair before waking him up. 

“Pull the right side up, left side down.” 

Kara blinked and looked at Lena, taking a few seconds to process the instructions. “Right,” she said as she pulled the straps apart. “Thanks.” 

She grabbed Val and hoisted him out of the door, startling him awake. It took a few moments, several confused blinks and rub of the eyes, but just as Lena said they would, the tears came. There were no wails or groans, no loud whines or desperate gaps for air; just an overwhelmed, disgruntled child with tears in his eyes over the transition from asleep to awake. 

“Hey there,” Kara said wiping his tears with her thumb. “Sleep well?” 

Val nodded and sniveled, “Zhi.” 

“Do you want to walk yourself?” 

He nodded again. 

Kara set him down and Val took a few wobbly steps before finding his bearings and dashing around the car to Lena’s side. He gripped the seam of her slacks before reaching up with his other hand and grabbing Lena’s. 

Lena rolled her eyes with a twitch of a smile and walked them through the parking garage and into an elevator. She let Val-Zod press the button labeled “12” and then the button that closed the doors. When the elevator opened again, Lena led the three of them down a glass-paneled hall, careful to keep her shoulders a breath away from the windows at all times to obstruct Val’s vision on her other side. Val must have caught sight of something he didn’t like, however, because the moment they rounded the corner to the main hall of the DEO, Val-Zod wailed loudly with fear and clawed at Lena’s very obviously expensive suit for protection. 

“Lena,” Alex said over the boy’s crying. “You’re here. And,” her features twisted, eyebrows raised, “Kara too!” 

Kara raised a hand to wave to Alex but her sister trotted over and embraced her in a tight hug before moving to do the same with Lena. 

“What are you doing here?” she asked, her hands finding her hips as she shifted her weight onto her left side. 

“We have a... development,” Lena said. “Is there somewhere more private we can talk?” 

Alex gave Kara one of her signature ‘worried sister’ looks and nodded. “Yeah, of course. Let’s talk in my office.” 

“Draw the blinds first?” Lena asked, placing a hand on Val’s head. 

“Sure thing.” 

* * *

Lena was caught dumbfounded by the state of disarray that was Alex’s office. 

“I know. It’s a wreck,” Alex said, shaking her head as she frantically tried to clean her desk. “it’s been hectic here and I haven’t had the time get cleaned up.” 

Lena looked around the room. It was small compared to hers and littered with case evidence; much of which involved her own studies on Val-Zod. However, the more she looked at it the more Lena came to admire her organization amongst the chaos. She could easily follow Alex’s train of thought, connecting one idea to another and seeing the web of information as a physical data hub rather than a cluster of useless paper. One idea leading to another, then from one board of information to another. The children of Liberty, Val-Zod, other various alien cases that had come up that posed either a risk to the earth or were potential targets to domestic terrorists. 

“It’s fine,” Lena offered, watching with a smile as Val explored the small room and climbed under the desk when he discovered the alcove beneath the tabletop. “I know you’ve been busy these past months.” 

“Busy isn’t even the half of it,” Alex said, pushing back her hair with one hand. 

“If this isn’t a good time—” 

“Oh, no, it’s perfectly fine,” Alex cut. The rounded the desk and wiggled her fingers in a friendly wave to Val, smiling mouthing words of hello when Lena assumed him to have waved back. Then, her eyes came back up and her tone found a more serious note. “What’s up?” 

“Do you remember when I first came to Earth and I would wake up floating and sometimes I would–” 

“Break stuff and blast holes?” Alex finished. 

“Yeah,” Kara agreed, visibly embarrassed. 

Lena licked her lips and steered the conversation. “Val-Zod is beginning to show signs of powers outside of slightly more resilient skin.” 

Alex breathed a heavy sigh and closed her eyes. “Okay,” she said. “This needs more attention than I've been giving it.” 

If it we’re up to Lena, judging by the state of her office walls, Alex had been giving Val’s arrival to this universe a tremendous amount of attention. More so than Lena would consider as necessary given the fact that she was also working on the matter herself. 

“I hardly think that’s necessary,” Lena suggested, the words coming before she could think about what she was saying. What _ was _ she saying? 

Alex eyed the desk that Val was hiding under and lowered her tone. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

Lena ground her teeth together. “Removing him from my care now will only backtrack his progress and make matters worse. You said yourself I’m the only person capable of doing this and we both knew this was a risk when I agreed to this. I’m not surrendering him to god knows where just because he’s had some exposure to sunlight.” 

Her fingers were tied into white-knuckled fists, her voice threatening to cross the line from quiet and rational to loud and angry and when she realized this, she bit down on her cheeks until the taste of iron found its way into her mouth. 

She hated this feeling; losing control, admitting the things that she wished more than anything in the world wasn’t true. Showing to anyone that at all that it existed within her in the first place. She was a Luthor. She wasn’t supposed to feel. She was supposed to be calculating and rational. Always three steps ahead, always alert, always putting profit and prestige above all else. 

Emotions were supposed to be suppressed, controlled. 

But that was exactly what a Luthor was. Someone who denied themselves the ability to feel until it became so powerful, it consumed them. But Lena was different. Her tragedy wasn’t that she was destined to succumb to jealousy and rage like Lex or her mother. Hers was something different, something complex and painful and ugly and beautiful all at the same time. She hated every second of it, almost as much as she hated herself for allowing it to happen. 

She could hate herself all she wanted. But she was a Luthor, and she would be dammed if she let herself be bested and beaten by a Kryptonian by any measure. 

“We can’t send you back with someone who might accidentally, you know,” Alex’s voice dropped to a whisper before she silently mouthed the words “kill you” in case Val had enough super-hearing to catch on. 

As much as she hated the idea of being offed by a toddler, she couldn’t deny the growing plausibility. “There’s a lower risk of causality with me than with someone else,” she said. She wasn’t agent Dox, but her math was good enough. She knew what to expect if he were to backslide with his progress now. 

Lena looked at Kara, expecting her support and with little more than a searching glance, Kara said. “Lena’s right, Alex. We can’t remove him yet. He’s not ready.” 

“So, what do we do then?” 

“Well,” Kara said. “What all did you do when I was growing up?” 

“Kara that’s not the same. You were older and you had a sense of self-control. Toddlers don’t have that skill yet.” 

“I’d like to create a mild sedative,” Lena proposed. “Something to take the edge off, similar to medication given to human PTSD patients.” 

“Do you think something like that could work?” Kara asked. 

Lena shrugged. “With access to the DEO’s facilities and an extra set of hands with Val-Zod so I can synthesize something, then, yes. I think it could.” 

“I could help,” Kara offered. 

Alex and Kara shared a look and then Alex said, “Lena? Is that fine with you?” 

Lena looked at Kara and swallowed back the stones in her throat. It wasn’t ideal, but what other choice did she have? This was the world worked for Luthors: self-torment and despair over gods with crystal eyes. 


	6. Chapter 6

Kara was positive she had a chunk of asphalt stuck in her boot, but she was stuck in a painfully long interview with a CatCo news reporter who had never in their life reported on Supergirl before and there was no pulling off her boots in an interview. 

The reporter was a woman named Ellie who typically wrote fluff pieces about restaurants with alien physiology friendly foods. Important work in its own right, but nothing in the wheelhouse of true journalism and reporting. It almost felt more like Kara was interviewing herself – except in the bad way and not in the way that she actually did interview herself. Instead of flying off to write up a paper with her own quotes and sources in Kara Danvers name, she had to guide Ellie though the types of questions best asked and the way to respond to her answers. Questions like when Ellie wanted to know about how she felt fighting ‘xenophobic assholes’ where Kara had to reword the question by rephrasing it back to her as, “What are my thoughts on the continued resistance by the Children of Liberty?” 

To be honest, she hadn’t thought about the Children of Liberty in days. But she couldn’t tell Ellie that. Instead she spat out some speech about love and acceptance and the melting pot of America, how she hoped that the Children would come to their senses now that their leader had been reprimanded and how she believed that there was good in everyone – even them. The usual spiel she wrote for herself but with tremendously less grace given the fact she had to whorl it together on the fly. 

What she had really been thinking about, or more, what she had been obsessing over, was Lena and her newfound duty to her and Val-Zod. She wasn’t moving in per se, but she did have a backpack full of essentials now taking up residence in Lena’s third bedroom and that in and of itself was a strange and unusual chain of events. 

Lena insisted that it was a part time thing. Just until she could work out a solution in her home office undisturbed by Val-Zod. It was nothing that she couldn’t solve in a handful of days if left to the schedule she had posted on the fridge for Kara to follow. The excuses were endless. But Lena wasn’t the only one with an impossible time table. Kara too, was feeling the pressure from her multiple roles. 

For one, Supergirl was an endless 24/7 on call position. For another, she was still employed at CatCo despite her cut hours of which James had made a point to remind her when she failed to turn in a fluff piece about food trucks gathering around a fountain on the west side. 

“I know you’re used to more hard-hitting journalism, Kara,” he had pleaded. “But we’re trying to give everyone a chance to report on Supergirl.” 

That, as much as she hated to admit it, was making everything worse. 

Reporting on Supergirl was the easiest way to maintain functional anonymity. She could disappear to report, save the city, not waste any time standing around talking to reporters, and write a piece based on firsthand experience as Supergirl’s reporter of choice. Kara also being Lena Luthor’s reporter of choice certainly helped sell the idea of her credibility warranting exclusive writing contracts. But even with Lena still in her reporting pocket (at least she hoped so), having to separate her reporting duties from her work as Supergirl was really beginning to strain what little time Kara had to work with. 

She was running painfully late to Lena’s because she had to stand around and get interviewed by one of her coworkers who was so enthralled by Supergirl’s presence she could hardly get her questions straight and what should have taken five minutes ended up taking over fifteen. Kara could argue that this issue was entirely Lena’s doing – forcing James to cut their hours or lay off staff – but at the end of the day Lena was a business woman. Whatever decision she made, she wouldn’t have made it to spite her, she’d make it because it was profitable. 

Still, the whole thing was adding to the complexity and the situation Kara has wiggled herself into was already complicated enough without her day job mixed in. 

After the interview she rushed home to change and then back out the door where she landed as inconspicuously as possible behind Lena’s building. She barely managed to keep herself contained to the human variety of a running as she shouldered through the crowded National City sidewalks and into Lena’s building. And keeping with that same, hurried crawl of a pace, she pushed her glasses up and smiled at the security guard on her way to the elevator. 

Lena was waiting for her when the elevator doors opened again. She was dressed to the nines in a three-piece maroon suit over a black button-down shirt and polished, black ankle boots. Her makeup was modest, accenting the cut of her cheekbones and the angle of her jaw, the scorn on her lips. 

“I’m so sorry I’m late Lena.” 

She had one drape pulled open in an otherwise secluded from the world apartment and Val Zod was nowhere to be found. 

Lena sighed and grabbed her keys. “It’s fine,” she said, frustrated. “Val is upstairs. We’re... struggling to move forward with the whole fear the sky thing so if you do anything today, the goal is to get him out in the living room with at least one of the blinds open. He... having a day.” 

“I thought you were going to be here,” Kara said. 

Lena shouldered past Kara, throwing an excuse at her as she made for the door. “Got called into the office over a deal with Wayne Enterprises. It can’t wait. I should be home in a few hours.” She turned then in the doorway and offered Kara her best, albeit forced, smile. “And, Kara. Thank you.” 

The door shut and Kara sucked in a breath around her teeth. She had never been in Lena’s apartment alone before and while she did have a duffel bag of belongings in the third bedroom, it wasn’t exactly enough to ease in feeling comfortable in Lena’s penthouse. 

But what made Kara more uncomfortable was the knowledge that despite his growing powers and exposure to sunlight, Lena was pressing forward without Kara around to act in a pinch. All it took was a single sneeze, a stomp of the foot, a scared scream... 

Lena wouldn’t survive that. 

The feeling of discomfort wrapped around her like a wet blanket and Kara found herself wrapping her arms around herself and chewing on her lip, her eyes lingering on the open drape and the block of light that painted itself through Lena’s apartment. 

She shook her head, worked her fingers into fists and relaxed again. “You can do this, Kara,” she told herself, pathetically realizing the irony of a woman impervious to bullets saying such a thing over a three-year-old boy and a human woman. “You can do this.” 

Kara trudged up the stairs like a soldier headed to war for the first time. It wasn’t Val or Lena she was afraid of, at least, it didn’t feel that way. And she wasn’t afraid of being alone with a kid either, at least not theoretically. In fact, this stomach-churning feeling was something Kara for the life of her couldn’t pinpoint. But something was chewing on her nerves, and she could feel a worrying wrinkle dig itself onto her forehead. 

Val Zod was in the usual guest room, playing with a stack of giant Legos and his plastic animals. By playing, it was important to note, that he was smashing stacks of blocks with a plastic Lion while making dramatic roaring noises giggling almost maniacally as the colored blocks flew across the room and spattered against the walls. 

Even his games showcased just how strong the boy was getting. 

What was worse, he didn’t even realize the abnormality of it all. He enjoyed it. 

_ But _ , Kara reminded herself with a steadying breath, _ would it be any different if other kids were that strong? _

Kara noticed almost immediately how the face of his plastic lion was smashed and deformed, buts of white poking out from the chipped paint and dents around where his fingers pressed too hard against the plastic mold. Kara wondered about Lena, the fragility of human bones when compared to dense, compressed plastic. 

“Val,” she called, shaking the thought away. 

Val-Zod looked up from his wreckage of toys and presented her with a beaming, cheeky smile. “Kara,” he greeted, smashing a pile of toys again and sending bricks of plastic flying across the room. “Watch this!” He smashed another tower. 

Kara, thankful now more than ever for her Kryptonian, sun bathed reflexes, snatched a flying brick out of the air as it hurdled towards her face. She looked at the toy, cracked in places from the impact and thinly holding shape, and frowned. 

“Val,” she scolded with her most gentle voice. 

Val immediately responded with a wrinkled, grouchy expression. 

“You need to be more careful.” 

Val dropped his smooshed lion figurine and stomped his foot, huffing an angry growl in displeasure at Kara’s instruction. Now Kara understood what Lena meant by ‘having a day’.” 

“Why don’t you come down stairs and I'll make you something to eat.” 

Val shook his head, making that same angry noise. “I don’t wanna.” 

With softened features, Kara sat down cross-legged on the floor. She signaled him over and once he was within her reach, she grabbed him by his shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze. “Why not?” 

“I don’t wanna,” he said again, shrugging off Kara’s hands. 

“How about we make a deal,” she offered. Remembering how her mother once traded good behavior for small rewards during her own childhood on krypton. 

Val seemed less intruded by the offer than she expected, but Kara took that as a suggestion to the fact that Lena didn’t use bribery with the boy. That made sense. The only thing Kara could imagine Lena using as a tool was cold, hard logic. 

“How about you come down stairs,” Kara continued to offer, “And I get us Potstickers and Crab Rangoons?” 

Val dropped the toy he was expressly using to ignore her and turned around. “Rangoons?” 

Kara nodded and Val smiled. 

“I want Rangoons!” 

Feeling victorious, Kara opened her phone and placed an order for delivery. “Okay,” she said as the order confirmed. “But you have to come downstairs and eat at the table. And no more smashing your toys okay?” 

Val nodded. “Okay.” 

Kara played with Val for the entirety of the thirty-two minutes in between ordering her food and its expected arrival, spending the vast majority of it teaching him safer, and less destructive games that wouldn’t involve potentially giving Lena a concussion if she were to get too close. She helped him take his Legos and build homes for the animals instead, but that only held his attention for so long before she was reading him books from the collection Alex had provided and letting him color on Harold and the Purple Crayon with his own purple crayon. 

“Look,” he said, showing her a mess of shapes and squiggles over one of the pages. 

Kara nodded approvingly. “I see,” she said. “What is it?” 

Val tapped the drawing with his crayon, smashing purple dots into the image. “Lion.” 

The home security chimed then, a screen near the door lighting up with the display at the bottom of the stairs asking for approval before opening its doors for the delivery person. 

Kara sprung to her feet and hopped over the mess of toys, floating through the air and swiped across the screen. 

Val, laughed at her, pointing at the space between her feet and the ground and said. “Me too! Me too,” and moved to jump in the air. 

She barely managed to stop him before his feet left the ground. 

“Flying is just for me,” she instructed, her voice haste and sharper than she liked. “Okay?” 

Val gave her a scornful look. 

“You can fly if you come outside with me.” 

“I don’t wanna go outside.” His speech was clear, the clearest Kara had ever heard. No hint of toddler babble or Kryptonian accent to be found. 

Kara shrugged and picked Val up, hoisting him on her hip. “Then you don’t get to fly,” she said picking her feet up off the ground. “Unless you’re with me. Okay?” 

She flew them down the stairs, spinning in circles like a propeller to the sound of Val’s laughter; Val so enthralled with it all that he didn’t even notice the open drapes and then set him down by the elevator just in time for the doors to open. 

“Rangoons,” he yelled as the door opened. 

Kara thanked the driver, took the bag and then turned to Val was the elevator closed again. “Okay. Table time.” 

* * *

Due to her frequent absences, Lena had considered bringing back Samantha Arias to keep things running, but in the end, she decided that the only person capable of battling the man with the Midas touch was herself. 

The proposal itself was being refined on both ends, Lena as determined to get the best possible deal out the joint project as Lucius Fox was. And without the addition of super children and Achilles heel shattering super adults, Lena would be adding the finishing touches to a flawless and memorized presentation that would without a fraction of doubt bring an end to the seemingly endless negotiations between herself and Wayne Enterprises. Instead, she was being debriefed by her assistant, an elected Lab Tech, and her CFO on the conditions and effects that various deals would have on the company’s stock and profit margins. 

Never had she been so far behind on work, and never had she been so ill prepared – so uninvested – in the work of her own company. She felt lost, out of her element, and lacking in control over a deal that could make or break the future of L-Corp. None of that was good, fine, or acceptable. So, a short crisis aversion trip to the office soon became a multi-hour deep dive into the tasks she had left in the hands of her most skilled employees because, quite frankly, even the most talented of employees had nothing on a Luthor’s mind. 

“Run these numbers again and send me the results immediately. I want triple verification on everything before we move forward with statistics for Wayne Tech.” 

She felt like herself again. For the first time in longer than she could remember, she felt like herself. She wasn’t weighed down by thoughts Kara or her friends. She wasn’t engrossed in the realities of their betrayal or working out what that meant for her. She wasn’t fixated on the little signs of truth and thinly veiled lies that she chose to ignore. 

She also wasn’t obsessing over the need to prove she was better than the Luthor name. Her work wasn’t about proving she wasn’t a villain or that not every Luthor felt a compulsive need to throw their reputation in the mud. Sure, her reputation was on the line, but she wasn’t thinking about that – she was thinking about successfully negotiating with Lucius Fox. She was thinking about the high she would ride when she bested him. She was thinking about all the people she would help when this deal finally went through. 

It felt good to focus on work. Incredible. 

As the fifth hour passed and the jet engines of Lena’s mind finally began to slow, she remembered what was waiting for her at home; what she should have returned to hours ago. 

“I need to get back.” 

“That side project of yours?” Her CFO asked. “Or the boy you’re taking in?” 

Lena leaned back in her chair and rubbed her thumb and forefinger against her temples. “Both,” she said. Those she worked with were aware of Val-Zod, but none of them knew that her side project with the DEO was one in the same. 

“Don’t work yourself too hard,” he told her. 

“You say that as if it’s possible.” 

Her CFO, a man named Robert Coons who had a flat nose and a creeping case of early onset balding, laughed. “As a father of three and the apparent expert for once, I’d like to say it is.” 

She had to remind herself that he was right. She hired Sam knowing she was a single mother. She promoted Coons knowing he was a father. They all managed to balance their work and home lives, maintain healthy relations with people and their children. Just because the Luthor's never found balance between work and home didn’t mean it was impossible. 

Still, she felt compelled to swat his ‘expertise’ away. 

_ Oh, yeah. Three children. Three perfectly healthy, biologically human children with no trauma and two parents who love them. What an accomplishment, Rob. You’re such a model father, Rob. Let’s see how you handle a miniature Superman with trauma and no concept of restraint, Rob.” _

But she kept her mouth shut, and forced herself to smile when he clapped a hand on her shoulder and said, “You’ll figure it out, Luthor. I have faith in you.” 

“At least one of us does,” Lena half joked back as she locked her computer and pushed herself away from her desk. 

“Look,” I saw that kid the first time you brought him in here; screaming and crying about only god knows what. He’s a handful, I get it. But you took him in anyway. You’re giving him a chance at something better. Something only someone like you can provide. Don’t get too wrapped up around your missteps, because I promise you, you’re doing a damn fine job.” 

His words, coated in a soft southern accent, brought her comfort. It felt good to be validated by people; even people who didn’t know the full scope of the task or the fact that sometimes (most of the time) Lena felt as if there wasn’t a single maternal bone in her body. 

As comforting as Robert’s words had been, the high of confidence and comfort didn’t carry her home. 

She rode the elevator with a grinding sense of anxiety against her nerves, uncertain of what awaited her on the other side. On the one hand, things could have gone fairly well. Kara was good with kids and she had a connection with Val that no one could replicate. That had to be accounted for before she let herself freak out. But at the same time, she had promised not to be gone long, and Val was certainly dealing with some type of mood that could prove to make him confrontational and unusually difficult. 

She half expected her apartment to be in ruins. Two super powered beings running amok in her home? What else could she expect? Certainly not what she found. 

Not one, but three curtains were pulled open; sunlight genuinely and generously exposed to her home for the first time in weeks. Val was standing in the sun, his dark skin almost glowing as it drank in the light. He had that smooshed toy in his hand – a lion or panther or something – the same toy that faced the wrath of his growing strength earlier this morning. But he was holding it loosely, gingerly this time. Something Lena immediately noted as one of the greatest improvements he had made considering he was standing in her sunlit living room; that dammed, dreadful sky looming within his purview. 

There were containers of Chinese food on her kitchen island that had obviously been forgotten hours ago – the sauces congealed and sticky and looking entirely unappealing. Two plates sat stacked next to the sink, cleaned and dried and needing to be put away and there was at least three no spill plastic cups scattered about. Kara was sitting on the couch, lazily watching whatever it was on the television in a pair of sweats she hadn’t been wearing when Lena left and stacking plastic Lego bricks on her coffee table in color coded towers. 

Kara turned to greet her, the light of the sun catching her hair and turning it a glowing gold as she smiled a welcoming hello. “You get everything sorted at L-Corp?” 

Lena shrugged off her blazer and slipped it over one arm. “As much as I could,” she said. “If I stayed until everything was perfect, I’d probably never leave.” 

Val, on his short little legs, sprinted over and grabbed at her hand with his. “Come see,” he said, pulling at her hand. “Come see.” 

She let him pull her across the room to the stacks of color-coded bricks Kara had made, of which Val-Zod had taken and used as pillars to stack other toys and books on top of. 

“We were learning about balance,” Kara explained. 

“How did you—” 

Kara cut her off with a diminishing wave of her hand and casual admission of bribery entitled: “Chinese food.” 

Lena took in a breath and pinched her nose. She really should have guessed. 

“Kid will do anything for Crab Rangoons.” 

“Like you’ll do anything for Potstickers?” 

Kara nodded happily. “Just about. Plus, I may have bribed him with flying.” 

Lena could feel her eyes popping, despite her desire to remain calm and disciplined in Kara – and Val’s -- presence. “You what?” 

“We can go flying,” Val told her. “In the sky.” 

“And do you want to?” 

Val dropped his gaze and began pinching the plastic animal in his hand. “I don’t know.” 

That meant he was still afraid, despite his excitement. Still, Lena had to commend Kara for the effort. 

“Well,” Lena said. “That’s progress, at least.” She should be more excited, but her brain was slowing down and her energy was starting to taper off. She had exerted too much of herself at office, fueling the high of her old self – her old life. 

Kara perked up and suddenly the television flashed over to the news with a ‘breaking report’: 

_ We interrupt this program— _

“I have to go,” she said 

Lena nodded, and Kara was gone. 

She turned to the television, her arms wrapping around herself and finding their place in a twisted bind that left one hand gripping the seam of her shirt and the other holding her elbow. On the television was a news anchor from CatCo Worldwide Media; the usual middle aged woman who read the headlines for the prime time news slot. She was significantly less done up than usual; her hair in a simple pony tail, her makeup barely visible, the crease in her furrowed brow pronounced in a way Lena had never seen before. But, Lena noted, even without the aid of pristine makeup artistry, she was still very beautiful. 

“Is Kara flying?” Val asked as he struck a pointed finger towards the television. 

On the monitor, the camera had cut to an image of Supergirl hovering over the city. 

“She is.” 

* * *

Kara returned from her freshly avoided crisis several hours later, in which most of that time was again dedicated to awkward interviews with unprepared CatCo journalists forced into reporting on Supergirl in Kara’s stead. 

She wanted to bring up the budget cuts with Lena sooner rather than later, but she knew that now – with Lena only just barely beginning to show a hint of interest in the thought of forgiveness – was not the time to go asking for favors or answers with CatCo. Even bringing up the ideal of questioning Lena’s executive decisions was off the table. It put too much weight onto the scale in favor of Kara _ not _ trusting Lena, and seeing as this was related to her decisions as a businesswoman specifically, Kara didn’t have the chops to question it anyway. The only person who did was James and he had taken to avoiding talking to Lena at all in response to the recent changed he had been cornered into making. 

Instead, as Kara landed on Lena’s balcony with a discontent sigh and a weighted heart, she debated her options on what she _ could _manage to get done tonight. All she wanted to do was curl on the couch and share a bottle of wine and a cheese plate with her favorite person in the world. She wanted to talk candidly again, confide in her again. She wanted to be able to unload all the stress she had been feeling in a place that felt safe, with the person who’s voice she wanted to hear more than anyone’s. But she couldn’t do that. She had an article to write, edit, and submit before midnight; she had reports to go over with Alex regarding the recent terror attacks by the Agents of Liberty; she had to figure out some sort of teach-Val-Zod-restraint program and begin implementing it; and she needed to run full speed with the momentum of progress she had made in repairing her otherwise ruined relationship with Lena before it was too late. 

She chewed on this for several moments, standing in the cold fall air with her eyes on her boots, her heart pounding like a hammer in her chest over the thought of returning to Lena after so many months apart, so many months avoiding one another, acting like strangers. She had always dreamed of a day where she could come and go from her time with Lena with no secrets between them, zooming in and out as the city called and returning with wind tasseled hair and smiles instead of excuses. She didn’t imagine that it would be like this; pursed lips and feet on eggshells. 

Kara took in a deep breath, let the cold air fill her until her lungs threatened to burst, and then she looked up. Lena was standing in the doorway, one shoulder leaning casually on the door frame of the sliding glass door. Her brow was creased with worry lines and her arms were twisted around one another over her chest, her painted nails peeking out over the bicep of her opposite arm. 

“Hey,” Lena greeted softly. 

“Hey,” Kara returned with a smile. 

“You coming inside?” 

Feeling her cheeks turning pink, Kara nodded. “Yeah,” she said, crossing the plane of the balcony and through the door as Lena rolled on her heels and out of Kara’s way. She looked around the penthouse. Most lights were off now, save for the hallway of the second floor and a single lamp near the couch where it appeared Lena had taken up temporary residence. She had a mountain of paper on the coffee table, the crystal decanter and a glass of bourbon sitting next to it as well as a tablet that was still back lit with bright blue light that revealed a pen and two balls of discarded paper across the coffee table. “How long as Val-Zod been asleep?” 

Lena shrugged and pushed herself away from the door frame, moving to close the glass door as she said, “Maybe half an hour? You really wore him out today.” 

Kara frowned. “I was hoping to be back sooner. Sorry it took so long.” 

Lena shrugged and made her way back to the couch. “It’s fine,” she said. “I accepted the fact that I wasn’t going to get very far with this project the moment I had to step into the office.” 

“Is that your plans for containing Val’s power?” 

She nodded and, without looking up from the note she was now scribbling down, outstretched one arm with the tablet in hand. “Preliminary ideas,” she explained. “Based on past trials and studies and the information my brother had on Red Daughter.” 

Tentatively, Kara crossed the room and accepted the tablet. Most of the information she could barely – if at all – dissect. She was far more adept with math and science than the average human thanks to her schooling on krypton, but between the differences in the makeup of the planets and her lack of using that information for over a decade, most of what Lena was showing her was lost on her. She squinted at the tablet as she scrolled over the digital notes, tilting her head curiously as she came across something circled several times in red. 

“A sedative lotion?” she asked, unsure of what she was reading was correct. 

Lena nodded. “Your skin is very strange. It can withstand bullets and needles break in half with pressure, but it soaks up moisture just fine.” A pause and then, offhandedly, “I’ve noticed your fingers pruned when we went swimming last summer.” 

Kara blinked, overrun with bewilderment at Lena’s observational skills. “You notice things like that? You're incredible, Lena.” 

“I’ve noticed a lot of things about you,” Lena said. “Obviously not enough, however.” She sighed and went back to scribbling down some sort of chemical formula that Kara couldn’t comprehend. 

Kara tangled her lip in her teeth at the off handed mention of Kara’s secret identity. There was nothing she could ever say that would heal that wound. Instead, she asked, “What else did you notice?” 

Lena looked up at her, her eyes sparkling with bemusement. 

“What else?” Kara urged with a smile. 

Lena se set down her pen and tangled her fingers around one another in her lap, her brows knitting as she thought over Kara’s request. “Well,” she begun, still slightly puzzled by Kara’s question. “For starters, you always adjust your glasses with your right hand when your nervous, but for every other occasion, you use your left.” 

Kara blinked, frozen for a moment before she smiled more brightly and sat down next to Lena and egged her on with an earnest, attentive gaze. 

“You use chopsticks incorrectly but with more accuracy and precision than anyone I know. Your hair is always spun up in a counter-clockwise bun at work. You’re _ never _late to anything. You have a strangely aesthetic bookshelf in your living room where it’s all organized by color instead of Author and it drives me mad every time I see it.” 

Kara laughed, adjusted her glasses with her right hand. 

“When you smile, you smile with your entire being,” she said. “You’re incredible with children. With Val-Zod.” 

“Now I think you’re confusing me with you,” Kara said. 

‘I’m not,” Lena said, and now she was smiling too. 

“I think, you would have noticed,” Kara said, suddenly and sullenly. “If you didn’t trust me the way you did, I mean. If we were less... I think you would have figured it out.” 

“I’m sure I would have,” Lena said, her smile fading as fast as it had appeared. 

Kara reached across them, placed her hand atop Lena’s tangled ones, and gave them a soft squeeze. “I’m never going to give you a reason to doubt me again,” she promised. 

Lena looked at Kara’s hand atop hers and thought that of all the powers in the world, more than anything and at least once, she wished she could know what was going on in Lena’s mind. A myriad of micro expressions were flashing in her eyes, her other otherwise stoic expression giving nothing away to Kara’s powerful senses. It didn’t matter that Kara could see every pore, every eyelash, every stroke of makeup over skin that Kara knew was perfect underneath. None of that gave her even the smallest inkling of what was going on in Lena’s mind. 

What she did know was that everything they had built together, the very foundation that their friendship stood upon, was cracked and broken. Like a mirror, the cracks would always be visible now, and Lena had absolutely no reason at all to forgive Kara for what she did. In reality, Kara knew that the simple fact that Lena hadn’t shut her out completely was a miracle in and of itself. No, it wasn’t a miracle. It was a testament to Lena’s conviction to be a force for good. It was the very core of what Kara loved most about Lena, shining through these dark waters they were attempting to navigate like a lighthouse across the sea. 

Lena was good. She was the best of humanity. She was everything Lex propped himself up to be but failed to prove. She was everything Kara could ever want or need or even think about asking for. She was everything. Plain and simple. But this fight, this... deception that Kara had done. This darkness she had brought unto a woman who had spent her entire life fighting to escape... it had taken the confidence of that light away from her. And nothing Kara could ever do would be enough. 

But this? This promise. It was a start. 

She just had to prove it. 

* * *

Kara’s fingers were warm against her own, squeezing softly into Lena’s icy skin, sending a shiver down her spine that she had to fight to contain. 

She had never, in all the years she had known Kara, never seen her with such a determined expression before. Looking at her was like staring at the sun, painful and pure and warm. Too warm. Too pure. Too ferocious. So, Lena looked elsewhere. She looked at their hands, three entwined hands, fifteen fingers, pressed together; too soft and too tender and too warm. Her eyes went out of focus, the world blurring in her peripherals, falling to pieces and melting away until only color splotches remained. And then— 

“I’m never going to give you a reason to doubt me again.” 

It was like getting punched in the throat. She couldn’t breathe, her every thought, every emotion welling up in her throat like a dam holding back water, and cracking under the pressure. She felt her eyes burn and blinked to push away the pain, her vision coming back to her in a vivid technicolor blast to the optic nerves. Was she biting her cheeks? She didn’t know. But she could taste iron on her tongue and her jaw was starting to ache, a dull sensation radiating through her teeth and into the back of her skull. 

The image of Kara was rushing into her now; a blur of blue and red and gold; swirling, tendrils of gold around bright little crystals. That little divot in her brow that creases with concern and worry. Her fingers squeezing around Lena’s; the fabric of her super suit rubbing against Lena’s hands. It was Supergirl, Kara, both and neither, all at once, spinning her around and around, assaulting her senses, her mind. She couldn’t separate the past from the present, feelings from touch, smell from sight. All that existed was Kara, glowing under the lamp light, radiating into her very being and twisting her insides with each and every breath she took. 

She pulled her hands away from Kara, sucking in a sharp breath as reality began to paint itself into frame again. She was sitting on her couch. She had work in front of her; good work. Promising work. She was sitting on her couch with work in front of her and Kara Danvers dressed in her super suit next to her. She was sitting, on her couch, there was work to be done, Kara. 

Kara Zor-El. 

And Lena Luthor. 

She licked her lips, her eyes closing slowly as she gathered her thoughts. Her head was spinning, but she was regaining control of it all again, feeling her body return to her and submit to her will once again. She took a moment to steady herself, feeling the pressure of the cushioned seat beneath her, feeling the fabrics of her clothes against her skin, her hair against her neck. Then, Lena opened her eyes and looked at Kara for what felt like the first time in ages and she didn’t see what she expected to face. 

It wasn’t Kara Zor-El. It was Kara Danvers. Wholly and completely Kara Danvers. Timid, worrisome, honest and genuine, the living doormat of kindness and good deeds Kara Danvers – staring at her in Supergirl's suit with eyes that sparkled with wetness she refused to let fall. She had planned for strength, for confidence, for determination and resolution. She planned for promises from Supergirl, not Kara. But here she was, looking at the woman she thought she knew better than anyone in the world, seeing with her own eyes just how different her two identities really were, seeing just how important Lena Luthor really was to Kara Danvers. 

If it were anyone, anyone other than Kara Danvers, looking at her right now she would have scoffed at such a promise. If Supergirl, if Kara Zor-El, had made that promise she would have brushed it off like dust on her suit. But for the first time in months, Lena saw Kara Danvers, her Kara Danvers. And god, how she missed her Kara. 

“I believe you,” she answered. And she did. Truly, she did. She didn’t know why or what had done her in to give in to Kara now after months of pain and suffering, but she did. And it felt good. 

**Author's Note:**

> kiintsugi.tumblr.com


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